WHEN "I SHOULD" BECOMES "IF ONLY"

Every one of us has moments, days or years that we just wish we could “do over.”  Maybe it is because of procrastination, perhaps it was due to impulsiveness, or maybe you tried to take things into your own hands and instead, created a mess.  Whatever the reason or the excuse, we can all look back at the moments when our “I should” becomes our “If only.”-

As with most of the “mess ups” in our life, “If Onlys” were handed down to us from Father Adam and have been a constant “thorn in our side” throughout the history of mankind.  Adam was well aware of the choice he SHOULD make.  He had heard the instruction straight from the mouth of God, “And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”   (Genesis 2:16-17)  Yes, Adam knew exactly what he SHOULD DO, but in a moment that would change Human History, he ate of the fruit.  In that moment, not only were Adam’s eyes opened to knowledge, not only would his body begin to die, not only would he have to toil and labor for his “daily bread,” but Adam experienced a moment when his SHOULD became his IF ONLY.

There are many more examples in the Bible of “I SHOULD” becoming “IF ONLY.”  So many regrets would be avoided, if we would learn the “IF ONLY” lessons taught by each event.  Moses SHOULD have spoken to the rock; IF ONLY he had not struck the rock, he would have been the one leading the Israelites into the Promised Land.  Abraham SHOULD have trusted God when He said that his son would come from Sarah; IF ONLY he had not been impatient, he would not have birthed an Ishmael.  Judas SHOULD have not allowed money to cloud his judgment; IF ONLY he had loved and been loyal to the Master, he would have been one of the 120 in the Upper Room on the Day of Pentecost.  So many life changing moments occur when an “I SHOULD” turns into an “IF ONLY.”

Thirteen years ago, September 2, 2001, I too had one of those moments that will be forever imprinted on my brain.   We had gone to our “up north” cottage to spend the Labor Day weekend.  Mom had called on Friday, to say she was taking Dad to the hospital to possibly get a blood transfusion and expected to be home some time during the day on Saturday.  I was busy and looking forward to a fun-filled weekend.  I tried to call Saturday morning and again Saturday evening; there was no answer at  home.  I thought, to myself, tomorrow I will call the hospital if there is still no answer on the home phone.  On the way to breakfast, Sunday morning, my phone rang with the sad news that Dad had died.  I SHOULD have called; IF ONLY I had, I could have spent some precious last moments hearing my Dad’s voice and letting him know one more time that I loved him.

 

If there are things in your life that you SHOULD do or say; DO THEM!!!!  Make that phone call; SAY THEM!!!  Don’t allow another SHOULD to transform into an IF ONLY.

THE PROMISE WAS NOT MEANT TO END WITH YOU

In Acts 1:4, just before Jesus ascends into Heaven, He gathers His followers and tells them to stay in Jerusalem and wait for THE PROMISE.  He told them they would be baptized with the Holy Spirit and receive power when the Holy Spirit came upon them.  They obeyed the command of Jesus, gathered together and began to pray and wait for THE PROMISE.  In Acts 2, we read, “When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. ² And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³ Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. ⁴ And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.”  THE PROMISE had come!  THE CHURCH had been born!  This Sunday, which is Pentecost Sunday, we will celebrate this glorious birthday of the Church and most wonderful of all, THE PROMISE WAS NOT MEANT TO END WITH THE DISCIPLES!

Read through the Book of Acts, there are thousands that testify of having received the Holy Spirit; The Promise.  In Acts 2:39, Peter proclaimed, “For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call.”  Around the world, people are still experiencing the outpouring of The Promise in their own lives.  But THE PROMISE IS NOT MEANT TO END WITH THEM!

As a child, I heard sermons preaching about The Promise, witnessed people receiving the Holy Spirit, responded to the invitation to come and receive it and at the age of 9, I received The Promise; the Baptism of the Holy Spirit in my own life.  But THE PROMISE WAS NOT MEANT TO END WITH ME!

One of my greatest joys as a parent, was witnessing Steve baptize our boys in the Name of Jesus and rejoicing with them as they received THE PROMISE.  Now there is a new generation, my grandchildren.  They must be told about this wonderful Promise from God and how they can experience it for themselves, that it will give them POWER and GUIDE them their entire life.  Steven and Philip, THE PROMISE WAS NOT MEANT TO END WITH YOU!

This week, my sister, Valerie, posted some pictures of her grandbabies, praying and worshiping at Youth Camp.  One of the sweetest pictures is of 7 year-old Levi and his Mom, Sarah, rejoicing after he had just received the Holy Spirit.  There were others of 6 year-old Emma Grace and 8 year-old Charlie, repenting and asking God to fill them with The Promise.  What joy fills my heart to know that THE PROMISE didn’t end with Val and me, nor did it end with our children but now a third generation is experiencing the same Promise that the 120 experienced on the Day of Pentecost.

I hope that many will celebrate the Birth of the Church, this Sunday.  I pray that the Message of Pentecost will continue to be preached around the world.  My greatest desire is that millions will hear The Message, respond and receive their personal experience of The Promise.  Share it with your Family, your Neighbor, the Waitress at the Restaurant, and even the person giving you a pedi, because THE PROMISE WAS NOT MEANT TO END WITH YOU!

IT WAS ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MOM

I wrote this blog in 2011and it remains one of my favorite.  To all of the young mothers that feel like pulling your hair out some days, pray you’ll get through the potty-training stage and past the “terrible-twos,” you will.  One day you will wake up and those sweet little darlings pulling at your skirt will be your grandbabies and you will be so proud and thankful that you were called to the most important job on earth…being a Mom.

It is no secret that I am a Facebook junkie.  I love keeping up-to-date with friends and family.  One of the things that I have avoided getting involved in is the “Mass Group Posts.”  To me they are similar to the old “chain letters.”  Some even go as far to tell me if I don’t post a certain paragraph, I am denying Christ before the world.  Never mind the life I live, it’s all about posting a specific saying.  A couple of weeks ago, this particular post caught my eye: “I work 24/7. I'm a MOMMY, I'm a cook, a cleaner, a parent, a teacher, a referee, a nanny, a nurse, a handyman, a maid, a shrink, security & a comforter. I don't get holidays, sick pay, or A DAY off. I work through the day & some of the night, on call at ALL hours. I'm underpaid & overworked. Now tell me that YOUR job is harder than mine! Repost this if you're a great mommy ♥.”  I did not repost the item but I couldn’t resist commenting.

I was a full time mommy for 20 years, I never considered myself underpaid. OVERWORKED? Maybe, but I just didn’t consider it in monetary terms.  You see, to me, Motherhood was NOT a JOB but a CALLING which I chose to follow. Although this calling did not bring great wealth, it was not without great reward.   I will never forget the feel of little arms around my neck and the sound of a tiny voice saying, “Mommy I “wuv” you.  What mother hasn’t paused for a few moments just to watch her babies sleeping like angels and wishing she hadn’t said “not right now” so many times that day.  There is nothing like seeing 2 little shining faces emerge after a warm bath, snuggling with them in their cozy “jammies” and inhaling that soft baby smell.  As they grew older, I loved listening to their funny adventures, discovering the world through their fresh eyes and guiding them through the “teenage jungle.”  I have enjoyed being a Mom in every stage of their life. As far as overworked, that is what I bought into when I chose to have kids.  They have been worth every sleepless night, every hour lost, and every dollar that I could have been spending on myself.

I know how Mary must have felt when she held Jesus in her arms for the first time.  I’ve experienced the overwhelming love that pours from your heart as you rock the tiny helpless little baby. But, did she feel “used” when she knelt at the cross?  Did she feel underpaid and overworked when she came to the end of the road with her son?  Did Mary complain, “I cooked, cleaned, taught you, dried your tears, washed your clothes, was always there for you and this is the reward I get?”  Luke 2:19 tells us, “But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” Perhaps at the end she reached into her heart for all the sweet memories and murmured through her tears, “It was enough just to be your mom.”

Yes, there were times I was privileged to teach them new things, referee their disagreements, bandage skinned knees, and provide clean clothes and delicious meals.  I’m thankful they trusted me enough to take my counsel instead of learning life’s lessons on the playground and that they knew their home was a safe place where they could always be comforted.  Being an important part of my sons’ lives as they grew to be men who love God, love their families and still love their mom has been all the pay I required. Steven and Philip, it was enough just to be your mom.

DON’T BAN THE “B, C, S, OR D” WORD, TRANSFORM THEM

Beyonce, Jennifer Garner and other prominent women are promoting the “Ban the B Word Campaign.”  They claim girls and young women are afraid to assert themselves and fulfill leadership roles for fear of being called “BOSSY,” therefore the word should be banned, allowing women to take their rightful roles in society. Is this a remake of the “Women’s Lib” movement of the 1960’s?  IMO, “Bossy” is the result of a character trait that has not been guided into the proper channels.  If you don’t want Hollywood Icons telling your children how to handle words or character traits, the step up, take charge of the role you assumed the moment that little girl or boy was born.

Having been born the oldest of 5 girls and, for the last 36 years, the mother of 2 boys, I will say that “Bossy” is not gender specific.  As in all characteristics, "Bossy," shows up in boys and girls, alike.  As a child, I was called “strong-willed.”  I was never called “strong-willed” in a positive light, so I grew up thinking that was a horrible trait that would cause me much grief over my lifetime.  Then I gave birth to a “strong-willed” little boy and it all became perfectly clear.  My problem was not being “strong-willed” it was learning how to submit that will to God and allow Him to use that character trait He had placed in me for His purpose.  Believe me, my “strong-will” has come through in some tough situations and help me to stand strong for the right things.  That “strong-willed” little boy has grown up to be a “strong-willed” man with a “strong-willed” little boy of his own.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Parents this verse doesn’t mean just taking your kids to Sunday School, saying meal and bedtime prayers with them and teaching them what NOT to do.  Training your child is allowing God to show you a glimpse of His plan for this precious little person entrusted to your care.  Let God do a work in your child’s life by guiding and molding all these wonderful character traits into tools to be used for His Glory.

God places certain character traits in each one of us to be nurtured and developed for His purpose.  If your child is BOSSY, help them to understand true leadership is not making everyone do what they choose but having a goal, planning and allowing others to contribute their ideas to reaching that goal.  If your child is STRONG-WILLED, don’t think you must “break” that will; instead teach them that being strong-willed doesn’t mean always doing what they want without regard to anyone else.  It means living a disciplined life, submitting their will to God’s will and being strong enough to not fall apart when He asks them to do the hard things.  If your child is COMPLIANT, help them to understand that there are many voices speaking into their life and you will help them to learn to listen and follow the ONE VOICE that loves them and has a great plan for their life.  If your child is a DRAMA-QUEEN/KING, recognize the positive aspects of their emotional traits.  They probably feel situations in a way that a calmer child does not experience.  Instead of becoming a “Drama-Parent,” turn the “drama” into compassion for others.  This child will probably be the one that will “weep with those who weep and laugh with those who laugh.”  God has some great adventures planned for your little Drama-Queen/King.

So while I agree that the word “bossy” is not a word that girls or boys desire to be labeled, having Hollywood Icons proudly declare, “I AM BOSSY!” is not what our children need to hear.  Families need mature, Godly Dads and  Moms that will recognize the character traits God has placed in their children and help nurture and develop them into strong, Godly young people. 

 Written by a Bossy, Strong-willed, Drama-Queen

WE'RE BROTHERS; SOMETIMES WE HURT EACH OTHER

Having raised two boys, it is no surprise to see 6-year old Caleb and 4-year old Nathan sword fighting, wrestling or playing “Superhero” in my living room; that’s what boys do!  I also remember how quickly “play” can escalate to the next level and become “fighting;” that’s what boys do!  Loudly, firmly and with authority, I said, “BOYS!!! That’s enough!  Someone is going to get hurt!”  Nathan paused just long enough to inform me, “It’s ok Grandma, we’re brothers, and sometimes we hurt each other.”  BOOOOMMMM!!!  He connects with the ball and Grandma gets it right between the eyes!  It always amazes me how your kids and grandkids can hit you with some truths using just a few simple words.

One of the things I have learned over the years is, the only people that can truly hurt you are the people you care about and have given that power over you.  It is the people to which you are the closest and most vulnerable; the ones you share your heart with or your innermost feelings.  These are the people whose opinions matter; your family, closest friends, your “brothers and sisters.”  A stranger can call me “fat, stupid and ugly and give me an obscene gesture, as I get out of my car and by the time I get from the parking lot to the store, I say, “whatevah" and forget about it.  Not so, if it comes from someone whose opinion I value.  The wounds and the scars can last a lifetime.

Stop a minute and look at the reverse side.  I know there have been many times that I have carelessly thrown a barbed dart while thinking, “its ok we’re sisters/brothers and sometimes we hurt each other.”  Then continued merrily along my way, never considering the damage my actions have caused.  IT’S NOT OK!!!  Listen to the words of Jesus in John 13:34-36 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. ³⁵ By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  How will men know we are disciples of Jesus if we are constantly sword fighting, backbiting or wrestling for position and attention?  Are we trying to destroy those we love?  Picking and finding fault with each other and fighting with our words and deeds will eventually destroy relationships and prevent the blessing of God in your life.   Galatians 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” ¹⁵ But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!

I may think it is cute for a 4 and 6 year old to stick their tongues out at each other; to wrestle and sword fight but there comes a time when we have to GROW UP!  Thankfully, my 34 and 36 year old sons don’t wrestle each other to the living room floor every time they get together.  The superhero capes and swords have been passed along to their children.  They can actually sit and have a civil conversation…most times.  It is time that we mature in our behavior toward our brothers and sisters in Christ.  It is time to put the swords down and STOP biting and devouring each other. 

 Psalms 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!  I want a good and pleasant life, don’t you?  One of the best ways to have unity is to pray for your brother or sister.  When you are truly seeking the blessing of God for your brother or sister, you see them through a different lens and the desire for strife ceases.  Be DELIBERATELY ENCOURAGING.  If saying encouraging words to others does not come to you naturally, plan for it.  Pick the one person you seem to have the most difficulty loving and think of all the lovely, encouraging things you can say (even if you don’t want to); then SAY THEM!  The most important thing is when you are around others, SMILE!  A genuinely, warm smile can “mend a lot of fences” especially if it accompanies an “I’m sorry.”  I know it would bring a smile to God’s heart if just once He could hear his children say, “It’s ok God, we’re brothers and we LOVE each other.”

ARE YOU SPEAKING PROPHETICALLY?

Proverbs 25:11, A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

WORDS MATTER!  The words you speak are not just empty sounds that fade into the wind, they matter and they have a great responsibility attached to them.  They can speak life and blessing to the hearer or hurt and destruction, but they will have an effect.  The old adage, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is totally false; words can break hearts, wound spirits and leave eternal scars.  WORDS MATTER!

A lesson I wish I had learned at a younger age is the words you speak over and to your children can have a prophetic affect. Research reveals that a child who is constantly told he/she is “no good, stupid, fat, clumsy or a piece of garbage,” will begin to believe that about themselves and ultimately become those words.  On the other hand, a child that is told they are loved, that their thoughts and opinions matter, encouraged in pursuing their dreams, and affirmed with loving correction will be successful.  True, some have been over-affirmed without the loving correction and we have created egotistical monsters but by using affirmation correctly and choosing your words, carefully, you can prophesy great things into the lives of your children and even your peers.

I will never forget the first time someone told me I was “sweet and nice.”  At first my mind just couldn’t wrap itself around that phrase; they were talking about me!  I couldn’t wait to get home and let Steve know that someone thought I was sweet and nice.  He, of course, looked at me as if I had lost it and said, “Well of course you are, I always thought so.”  My mind was reeling, I didn’t know my husband thought those things about me, no one had ever told me before.  I had wonderful parents who loved me and cared for me, but believed that pointing out negative traits would “shame” me into being a better person.  From the time I began to talk, I had a mouth that needed to be tamed.  I knew I was a “smart alec,” “hateful,” “sharp-tongued,” “intimidating,” and always “had to have the last word,” because I was told so.  I tried to be the soft-spoken, sweet girl that everyone flocked to but deep down I knew I just wasn’t born to be sweet and nice until one day a person, unknowingly spoke a prophetic word over me.  That sparked something in me that longed to hear those words again and again.  I began to find ways to speak loving things to others, to affirm them rather than criticize, to smile rather than retort and to listen rather than speak. A Facebook connection, recently commented that I was so arrogant and needed to tone things down; the old nature threatened to rise up.  I wanted to come back with sharpness and a quick retort but I refuse to let those words prophesy into my life.  I took them seriously and stepped back to do self-examination and asked God for a “heart adjustment,” but I refuse to allow the words to once again define me.

Jeremiah 29:11says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  Allow God’s opinion to define you; allow Him to speak a prophetic word into your life.  He has great thoughts regarding you and He created you to be a beautiful vessel, set apart to accomplish great things.  GOD’S WORDS MATTER; let them be the words you speak to others.

OLD PHOTOGRAPHS, STORIES AND LIFE

Between “tear breaks” I looked through old pictures; pictures of an 18-year old couple beginning a life together, full of hopes and dreams, yet to be realized.  There were snapshots of 2 kids holding a newborn baby and then 17 months later another baby appears in the scene.  Among the old photos are those of loved ones that we miss so much and long to hold once more.  Jump to 2013 and there is that newborn baby, all grown up, standing proudly with his wife and 3 beautiful children and the other baby with his wife and 4 beautiful children.  When did life happen and where did time go?  I had aspirations and dreams and plans and goals; I want a do over!!!

There is an old country song with the lyrics, “I’d like to be 16 again and know what I know now!”  Have you ever felt that way?  I certainly have!  If I could only go back to 18 years old and Steve and I could start our life all over.  Oh the things I would do differently.  We would certainly be rich because I would have sunk our entire fortune into Microsoft and Wal-Mart, and then sold it all at just the right time.  There are places we would not have moved to and houses we would not have moved from.  I would have saved more, bought less and cut up the credit cards.  More time would have been spent just talking and laughing with those who have reached the finish line first.  I would have sat on the floor and played more, not caring about all the tasks I thought were priorities.  I would have worried less and trusted more because now I know of God’s faithfulness.  I WANT A DO OVER!

As I continue to reminiscence, God takes me on a journey down memory lane.  That life that seems to have just slipped past was really busy and full and He was using every moment to make me into the person He had planned.  That first little house, with the toilet falling through the floor was teaching me to be thankful for every blessing so I would appreciate the brand new house 35 years later.  Balancing the checkbook until payday and returning pop cans for lunch money taught me thrift, the value of coupons, cooking meals instead of fast food, using cloth diapers when everyone else had disposable, helped me learn to be content for future times when the checkbook would balance itself.  I learned that God is truly our provider and will use any means to bless us, even if it means blowing something off of a roof and denting a car, giving us an insurance check to pay a bill.  God was there gently instructing me as I sat in the dark night praying and holding a little boy who’s nose wouldn’t stop bleeding; He is our healer.  Through every storm, I learned that He is the “Master of the Wind,” and only God can speak peace to my situation.

Back to my box of photographs; each one telling another piece of my life’s story.  How many of the precious memories would simply disappear if I was granted a do over?  What if I had always done the “sensible” thing for the moment?  I might have had a great career with loads of money, a grand home and luxury car in the garage but I would have missed those chubby little arms tight around my neck.  We may not have moved to Michigan, Minnesota and Tennessee and I would have avoided the struggles, the loneliness and the heartache and the people we ministered to, the friendships and the adventures.  We could have traveled the world but missed out on Saturday trips to the beach, making a snowman in the front yard and playing Yahtzee at the dining room table.

Suddenly the “Do over” isn’t quite so inviting and this story of my life with all its many pieces is really quite wonderful.  You don’t need a “Do over.”  Allow God to take the scattered pieces, even the ones you don’t think can possibly fit and put the puzzle of your life together.  That event you would change creates a splash of color in the completed picture.  The edge pieces are seemingly unimportant to the overall theme but without them the puzzle remains unfinished.   Your personal puzzle is not quite finished but if you take a moment and look through God’s eyes you will see that life really is quite a wonderful journey.

I WANT TO BE OLDER OR PRETTIER OR ............

Our cottage at Higgins Lake in Northern Michigan is such a peaceful place, usually, but this week the peacefulness was interrupted by squeals and peals of laughter and children’s voices; it was Grandkid’s Camp 2013.  I was sitting at the picnic table enjoying a cup of coffee, when 4-year old Nathan walked up, looking sad and forlorn.  “Grandma,” he said, “I want to be older.  I’ll never get to be older.”  Putting my arms around him, I asked, “How old would you like to be, Nathan?”  Without hesitation, Nathan replied, “10, I want to be 10.”  Now when you consider that his oldest cousin, Mackenzie, will be 9 years old in a few days, of course he wants to be 10; he wants to be “older.”  Pulling him on my lap, I explained to Nathan that God and Grandma thinks he is perfect exactly as he is now and that God needs him to be 4 years old so that he can learn and grow.  After a few more minutes of cuddling, he climbed off my lap and happily ran off to join a lively game of make-believe.

How many minutes, days and years of my life have been spent wishing I was something other than the person God wanted me to be?  As a 4 year old, I wanted to be 10, until I reached the age of 10, then it was 12, 16, 18, or 21.  From the age of 2, I loved to sing and perform for anyone who would listen.  At 12, I was so excited to sing solo for the Camp Choir in front of about 500 people.  Oh, I had dreams and my greatest joy was being asked to “perform” a song in church.  Finally, I realized that God hadn’t created me to “perform” but to worship and worship didn’t involve being in front singing at the top of my lungs but it involved standing in a pew, lifting my hands to Heaven, allowing the tears to flow as my voice directed the praise to Him.  I had other aspirations, I wanted to be the soft-spoken, sweet lady that everyone loved, confided in and admired.  Unfortunately, I saw things a little too clearly, had solutions instead of patience and could be a little intimidating; so I moved on.  Over the years, there have been so many things I wanted to be different in my life; I wanted to be thinner, prettier, live on the ocean, be creative, and the list goes on and on and on.

The beauty of “being older,” Nathan, is that I finally accepted that I am the “ME” that God created and loves with an everlasting love.  He created me for a special purpose and endowed me with the gifts and talents to be used to fulfill that purpose.  I may not sit and cry with you for hours but if we talk long enough, we may find a solution for your problem.  I won’t be the soloist with the microphone but if you listen closely, you will hear my voice lifted in worship to my God.  I won’t be the fashionista and my shoes won’t be the latest designer style but if you are barefoot, I’ll give them to you.  I won’t have a national ministry and be asked to travel the country speaking at Ladies Conferences but you might find me hosting a group of ladies in my home or leading devotions at the Rescue Mission.  I probably won’t write a “Best Seller” but I can send an email of encouragement, post a scripture on face book or write an inspirational blog.

Before we were born, God had a purpose and a plan in mind for each one of us.  We can only be complete in Him when we embrace and surrender our will to His plan.  Rest in His arms, cuddle for a while and accept that in Him you are perfect, then get up, shout for joy and go join in the game; enjoy being “FOUR.”

WE NEED GREAT DADS

I WROTE THIS BLOG SEVERAL YEARS AGO AND IT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FATHER'S DAY BLOGS.  I AM REPOSTING IN HONOR OF ALL THE GREAT DADS IN MY LIFE.

Chuck Colson of Prison Fellowship, reports that prisoners send thousands of cards on Mother’s Day to their Mothers and Grandmothers.  A greeting card company donated thousands of cards to be sent on Father’s Day, but not one card was sent.  Many of the prisoners had lost touch with or had no idea who had fathered them.   This confirms the axiom that creating a baby does not make one a father.  What the world needs is more Great Dads.

Hollywood leads us to believe that great fathers no longer exist.  Men and fathers in particular are portrayed as self-centered, beer drinking idiots with rude obnoxious children and a wife that has to be both mother and father in the dysfunctional family.  My experience belies this pop-culture portrayal of men. I was raised by a Great Dad, my husband has been an example of a Great Dad and I have observed my sons mature into Great Dads.  Yes, I have been surrounded by Great Dads all my life. 

WHY IS A GREAT DAD SO IMPORTANT TO YOUR LIFE?

Mom comforts you when you fall down, a Great Dad teaches you to walk.

Mom cries when her babies go to school, a Great Dad cries when he walks his daughter down the aisle or when his son wrecks the car.

Mom cheers when you swing at the ball, a Great Dad cheers when you connect and get on base.

Mom raves over the crayon picture on the refrigerator, a Great Dad raves over the great job his college grad just landed.

Mom feeds you broccoli and salad, a Great Dad stuffs you with pizza and ice cream.

Mom teaches you to love the beauty of a tastefully decorated home, a Great Dad teaches you to fix the holes in the wall.

Mom reminds you to wear your seat belt, a Great Dad reminds you to check the oil.

God created children to need the softness and nurturing love of a Great Mom, but children are incomplete without a Great Dad. Without a Great Dad in our lives we would never learn the importance of getting up when we fall, the satisfaction of achievement and that trying is only a portion of success.  We would miss out on the delights of junk food, live in a beautiful, crumbling home and sit safely in a car that won’t run. A Great Dad goes to work when he is sick, mows the lawn when he would rather go fishing, unclogs the toilet, kills spiders and rodents, is crazy in love with your mother and pauses the basketball game to tuck you into bed.  A Great Dad worries when you are out too late, wonders if you have enough money to pay your bills and never forgets to call your name in prayer. 

Don’t forget to wish all the Great Dads in your life a very Happy Father’s Day.

PRESS THROUGH THE CROWD

The sermon ended and worshippers gathered around the altar at the close of Sunday Morning service.  Sitting in the pew that morning with Caleb, Nathan and Maicie, I leaned forward to pick up a pencil for Nathan.  I turned just in time to see her blond curls disappear into the crowd.  2 year old Maicie had suddenly caught a glimpse of Grandpa and she was determined to make her way to him.  I watched as her little arms nudged a small opening to squeeze through, she pressed her way through the sea of adults, until finally her tiny hand patted his leg; Maicie had Grandpa’s full attention.  Her little arms tight around his neck and a look of satisfaction shining on her face, Maicie was exactly where heart desired to be, lifted high above the crowd, safe in Grandpa’s arms.  

In Mark 5, we read of a woman who had been sick for 12 long years.  She had spent all she had going from doctor to doctor trying to get relief.  I’m sure there were many who offered home remedies and concoctions, prayed for her and probably even tried to drive away evil spirits, but to no avail.  Verse 26 says that no matter which doctor she sought or what remedy they prescribed, “she was no better, but grew worse.”  I’m not sure why she happened to be in the crowd that day, perhaps someone had mentioned that Jesus was coming; but on this day, she was determined.  It might not have been the proper thing to do and was actually forbidden by the law to touch Him in her condition, but once her eyes caught a glimpse of Jesus, hope began rising and she started to press toward her goal.  She nudged her way through the crowd, squeezing through any opening, until finally with her last ounce of strength; she reached out and touched the hem of His garment.  For one moment all of Heaven stood still, she had Jesus’ full attention.  Mark 5:30 says, “ And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?”  The little woman came and fell at His feet, her joy was complete and she was healed.

There are times in our life when we just need to be in His presence but it seems that there are too many distractions, issues and responsibilities crowding in; hiding His face from view.  DON’T GIVE UP; LOOK UP!!! If you can catch a glimpse of Jesus, determination will take over.  As you squeeze your way past the issues and nudge the distractions out of your path, you may get jostled a bit and even pick up a bruise or two, but keep pressing.  Finally, you are at His feet. Reach out one last time; from somewhere deep inside, find the strength to offer one more sacrifice of praise. Suddenly, you have His full attention; you’ve touched Him.  Let the loving arms of the Savior hold you close, wipe away your tears and calm your fears.  He is everything your heart desires; you are right where you belong.

YOU ARE THE REASON

On this Christmas morning, don’t forget, YOU are the reason Jesus was born.  HE came to redeem YOU. He died for YOU.  HE LOVES YOU!!!

We all search for significance; to matter, if even to just one; to be loved as “ME.”  Over the years, I have been involved with many groups, religious and secular and in most of them, I was just “part of the group,” working toward the common goal.  But I longed for more.  I wanted to be valued, not just for what I contributed to the group or not just as long as I was useful to reaching the goal and certainly not because I could be counted in the total number, but I needed to be loved, personally.  These experiences lead us to believe this is how God views us; we are just “One in a World.”  God has a plan; there is an end game and He values you as just one of the players.  One day, when you die, you can go to Heaven but until then, God really isn’t concerned or involved with your personal life.  Oh, but He is and He does. HE LOVES EACH ONE PERSONALLY AND INDIVIDUALLY.

Listening to the sounds of laughter and watching my grandchildren play with their new Christmas toys, I thought of how special each little person is to my heart.  Oh yes, I speak of them as the “grandbabies and every year, I host “Grandkid’s Camp,” but they are so much more than a small subset in a large group.  Each one possesses a unique talent and personality that I adore and respond to individually.  Mackenzie is so smart and has such a sweet personality that loves animals and people.  Madison is a little “fashionista” who loves to create and perform.  She is always ready with a song or a dance.  Nothing stops Caleb.  From the time he started walking at 8 months until today, at 5 years, he has not stopped exploring, learning and discovering “why.”  Nathan, my sweet, lovable little Nathan; he is so tender and caring toward the younger babies.  I love the way he dances as soon as he hears music and his little voice naming his favorite superheroes.  Next is my beautiful, blond, blue-eyed Anabel.  Her laugh is infectious and just about the time she overwhelms you with the drama, her arms go around your neck and she climbs on your lap for some snuggle-time.  My precious, Maicie, who will be two in a few weeks; I love watching her blond curls bounce as she runs to keep up with her brothers.  Her giggles and version of “gama” when she runs into my arms is enough to make my world stop turning for a few minutes.  2 1/2 month old Payton, who completes our family; his toothless smile, his coos and gurgles as we “talk” have completely stolen my heart.  Each one is uniquely valuable to me by themselves.  I love them Personally and Individually.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

The verse rolls glibly off my tongue and I feel so blessed to be part of that world.  The love of God amazes me.  How could He love a world that 99% of the time dismisses Him and follows the path of its own choosing?  At times it almost seems an ethereal concept; this world that God loves.  I reach out to touch just a small piece of this world and though I’m a part, I can’t seem to wrap my mind around a whole world.  I substitute “Susan” for the “Whole World” and it becomes much more clear; God loves me, personally; HE LOVES ME!

For God so loved SUSAN that He gave His only begotten Son, that IF SUSAN believes in Him, she should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

SO I TAUGHT YOU TO TRUST GOD

When you began to walk, I wanted to keep you from falling, I could not so I stood by ready to pick you up, bandage the scrapes and kiss away the tears.  When it was time for you to enter kindergarten, I wanted to protect your young ears and eyes from the influences of an evil world, I could not so I taught you to turn away from evil and toward the beauty of God.  When you joined your friends on the playground, I wanted to protect you from the bullies, the teasing and their hurtful words, I could not so I provided a loving home you could always run to and told you about a “friend that would never leave you or forsake you.”  As you approached adulthood, I wanted to keep you from failing, but I could not, so I taught you to get up and try again, that the mercies of God are new every morning and by never giving up you would achieve success.  As you began to win and life’s success came your way, I wanted to protect you from the pitfalls of pride, I could not so I taught you to be thankful and give all Glory to God.  Now you are a man and I would still like to protect you from the world, but I cannot so I stand by and watch with a prayerful heart as you prepare your children to deal with their own scrapes and bruises.

When I became a mom 37 years ago, I had no concept what an awesome responsibility I had been given.  I knew my babies needed to be fed, clothed and loved and that was where I started.   There were new toys, bicycles and video games, days at the beach, a trip to Disney World, and little league games, but all of the fun times and new toys couldn’t guide my children through the pitfalls life presented. As time continued on and my children grew and we faced new challenges, I realized that the most valuable legacy I could leave them was a solid foundation in God.  I knew I wouldn’t always be present every time there was a temptation, but God would always make a way of escape.  I couldn’t always be within shouting distance but God was just a prayer away.  There would come a day when I would have to let go and watch them fly and my desire was that God would be the “wind beneath their wings.”  As much as I love my children, they had to make their own decisions, sometimes fail and make mistakes and learn to pick themselves up to try again.  Since I could not do it for them, I taught them to trust in God.

I love you Steven and Philip, it is such a blessing and privilege to be your Mom.

A NECESSARY MESS

The sink was full of soaking dishes, dirty pots and pans were piled high on one counter, while a coating of flour, sugar and spices covered the other. To a casual visitor, it looked like a jumbled mess but the dirty dishes and messy countertops were not the final product, they were just necessary preparations for what was to come.


Soon the mess was cleaned up, but the orderliness of the kitchen could not hide the delicious smells wafting from the roasting turkey, baking pies and bubbling pots on the stove. Pausing for a moment and breathing deeply, she savored the sweet aroma of her labor of love. But the inviting smell filling the kitchen was not the goal; it only represented what was to come.

Finally, the kitchen buzzer sounded and the doorbell rang; it was time. Hungry kids and grandkids filled the home. The enticing aromas guaranteed that soon they would be stuffing their mouths with the time-tested recipes that were pulled out once a year, making sure that everyone’s favorite dish was on the menu. It was time, this was what all of the mess and all of the mouth-watering smells was really about; the children were home and dinner was served.

Often times in our spiritual journey, we have had a vision of the goal, but became overwhelmed because of the “dirty kitchen.” Discouraged, we looked around at the “rags” and broken pieces of our life, positive that even God couldn’t do much with such a mess. But the “Master Chef” holding the recipe of our dreams reminds us, this isn’t the final product, these are just necessary preparations for what is to come.

With order restored, our journey continues and the sweet aroma of God’s presence fills our life. Pause for a moment, take a deep breath and savor each blessing that He has prepared just for you every step of the way. Don’t pause, too long, however, because the little blessings along the way are just a hint of what He has waiting for you. You can’t even imagine what is to come.

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 2:9, “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” One day the trumpet will sound and all God’s “hungry” children will be gathered home. It will be worth every messy kitchen, dirty pot and broken dish. The sweet aroma of blessings we enjoyed during the journey will pale in comparison to sound of His voice saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant…enter into the joy of the Lord.” WHAT A GATHERING THAT WILL BE!!!

IT WAS ENOUGH JUST TO BE YOUR MOM

I POSTED THIS BLOG IN DECEMBER 2010.  AFTER READING POSTS ON FACEBOOK REGARDING STAY-AT-HOME MOMS, I FELT I SHOULD POST IT AGAIN.  I AM NOT JUDGING ANY MOTHER THAT MUST WORK OR CHOOSES TO WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME; THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCES.

It is no secret that I am a Facebook junkie. I love keeping up-to-date with friends and family. One of the things that I have avoided getting involved in is the “Mass Group Posts.” To me they are similar to the old “chain letters.” Some even go as far to tell me if I don’t post a certain paragraph, I am denying Christ before the world. Never mind the life I live, it’s all about posting a specific saying. A couple of weeks ago, this particular post caught my eye: “I work 24/7. I'm a MOMMY, I'm a cook, a cleaner, a parent, a teacher, a referee, a nanny, a nurse, a handyman, a maid, a shrink, security & a comforter. I don't get holidays, sick pay, or A DAY off. I work through the day & some of the night, on call at ALL hours. I'm underpaid & overworked. Now tell me that YOUR job is harder than mine! Repost this if you're a great mommy ♥.”  I did not repost the item but I couldn’t resist commenting.

I was a full time mommy for 20 years, I never considered myself underpaid. OVERWORKED? Maybe, but I just didn’t consider it in monetary terms. You see, to me, Motherhood was NOT a JOB but a CALLING which I chose to follow. Although this calling did not bring great wealth, it was not without great reward. I will never forget the feel of little arms around my neck and the sound of a tiny voice saying, “Mommy I “wuv” you. What mother hasn’t paused for a few moments just to watch her babies sleeping like angels and wishing she hadn’t said “not right now” so many times that day. There is nothing like seeing 2 little shining faces emerge after a warm bath, snuggling with them in their cozy “jammies” and inhaling that soft baby smell. As they grew older, I loved listening to their funny adventures, discovering the world through their fresh eyes and guiding them through the “teenage jungle.” I have enjoyed being a Mom in every stage of their life. As far as overworked, that is what I bought into when I chose to have kids. They have been worth every sleepless night, every hour lost, and every dollar that I could have been spending on myself.

I know how Mary must have felt when she held Jesus in her arms for the first time. I’ve experienced the overwhelming love that pours from your heart as you rock the tiny helpless little baby. But, did she feel “used” when she knelt at the cross? Did she feel underpaid and overworked when she came to the end of the road with her son? Did Mary complain, “I cooked, cleaned, taught you, dried your tears, washed your clothes, was always there for you and this is the reward I get?” Luke 2:19 tells us, “But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” Perhaps at the end she reached into her heart for all the sweet memories and murmured through her tears, “It was enough just to be your mom.”

Yes, there were times I was privileged to teach them new things, referee their disagreements, bandage skinned knees, and provide clean clothes and delicious meals. I’m thankful they trusted me enough to take my counsel instead of learning life’s lessons on the playground and that they knew their home was a safe place where they could always be comforted. Being an important part of my sons’ lives as they grew to be men who love God, love their families and still love their mom has been all the pay I required. Steven and Philip, it was enough just to be your mom.

SO I TAUGHT YOU TO TRUST GOD

When you began to walk, I wanted to keep you from falling, I could not so I stood by ready to pick you up, bandage the scrapes and kiss away the tears. When it was time for you to enter kindergarten, I wanted to protect your young ears and eyes from the influences of an evil world, I could not so I taught you to turn away from evil and toward the beauty of God. When you joined your friends on the playground, I wanted to protect you from the bullies, the teasing and their hurtful words, I could not so I provided a loving home you could always run to and told you about a “friend that would never leave you or forsake you.” As you approached adulthood, I wanted to keep you from failing, but I could not, so I taught you to get up and try again, that the mercies of God are new every morning and by never giving up you would achieve success. As you began to win and life’s success came your way, I wanted to protect you from the pitfalls of pride, I could not so I taught you to be thankful and give all Glory to God. Now you are a man and I would still like to protect you from the world, but I cannot so I stand by and watch with a prayerful heart as you prepare your children to deal with their own scrapes and bruises.

On Saturday, my youngest son, Phil and his wife Holly faced the hardest trial of their life; saying goodbye to their little son, Timothy Lee. I wanted to run, pick him up and kiss away the tears but I could not so in prayer I asked our Heavenly Father to surround him with His love. I knew that my sadness at the loss of my little grandson could not compare to the grief Phil and Holly were experiencing as their tiny son was born. Sunday afternoon, Phil posted the following words to his friends and family:

“Unfortunately, we have sad news to report. On Saturday, Holly and I found that the baby we were expecting died in utero 16 weeks into the pregnancy. Holly delivered little Timothy Lee Niswonger on 11/13 at 4:24 pm. As I held him, I knew that he had been created by the very hand of God. We appreciate all of your prayers as we get through this. Praise be to God.”

The tests we face in life are never the specific events but our response to the events. Phil, I have never been more proud of you as I watch your strength and faith in action during this most difficult time. I may not be able to bandage the scrapes, wipe away the tears or make the pain go away but I know that you will keep holding to God’s unchanging hand and that He will guide you through the dark nights to the joy of the morning.

IF YOU DON'T TRUST THE MONITOR, UNPLUG IT!!!

Our grandsons, two-year old Caleb and two-month old Nathan stayed with us while Steven and Jenesa enjoyed a four day anniversary trip. Caleb is an old hand at staying with Grandma and Grandpa. He knows where I keep the toys, the step stool in the bathroom, his toothbrush, where his blanket is in his room and exactly how many books I allow in bed with him. Nathan has never been away from his mom more than 2 or 3 hours at a time; secretly, I was very nervous. If you think 2-year olds are unpredictable, try an infant!

The first few hours passed without incident and bedtime arrived. Grandpa spent some alone time with Nathan while Caleb splashed in the tub under Grandma’s watchful eye. Clean “jammies”, video, snack, 3 books, prayers, blanket, noise machine, lights out, one down!! Now the adventure begins. Around 10:00, Nathan sucked down his last bottle, his little eyes were heavy with sleep and his little body so warm against me; this is Heaven!!! How long will it last? Last diaper changed, snuggly wrapped like a little mummy in his swaddler, I carried him up the stairs. Just like mommy said, I laid him on his wedge, securely tucked a blanket around his legs, turned on the air purifier for background noise, turned off the light and most importantly, TURNED ON THE BABY MONITOR!!!!

I took a quick bath, brushed my teeth and checked both boys one last time; sleeping like little angels. Sinking down into my pillow, I realized how exhausted I was. I don’t remember being this tired 30 years ago when my 2 boys were this age. Turning over, my eyes flew open; the clock read 3:30. The monitor must NOT be working. I knew not to trust these electronic devises, I hadn’t heard a sound. What if he had scooted under the blanket, what if he had stopped breathing, what if he was lying there awake not making a sound, what if, what if, what if? Jumping out of bed, I hurried into his room, he was lying there sound asleep, I touched his warm little cheek just to make sure he was still breathing and slowly backed out of the room. The rest of the night was spent in fitful sleep as I listen to the monitor broadcast nothing but a rush of air.

How many times have I followed the rules, made all the right preparations, prayed about a situation, then plugged in the “God Monitor” and waited? God, I’ve been waiting a whole day, now it’s been a week or two and I’ll I hear is a rush of empty air. God, this monitor isn’t working, I’d better check on things; are you still breathing, do you hear me? Maybe I’ll just lie here awake and worry or better yet, figure it out for myself!!! All the while, God is saying, “IF YOU DON’T TRUST THE MONITOR, UNPLUG IT!!!!

My history with the baby monitor, tells me it can be trusted. It has been used with three other grandchildren and worked every time. I used it for nap time just this morning and heard every cry, so why do I doubt that it will function at night? My history with God tells me He can be trusted! I have placed other situations in His hands and He has come through every time. Just this morning I talked with Him and I felt His presence in the room, so why do I doubt that He knows exactly what to do in the dark hours. God, I think I’ll stay plugged in and trust that your voice will come through when I need to hear it and it will be just the right time.

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

JUST TO BE CLOSE TO YOU

My dad passed away September, 2001 and my heart still hurts with longing every time I think of him. Dad’s 74th birthday is Sunday and our family holds the memories of his last earthly birthday dear. All of his kids and grandkids made the trek down to Doniphan, MO with no anticipation that this would be the last time some of us would see him in this world. We sang, laughed, shared stories, wrote love letters, prayed with him and enjoyed just being close to him. This is a great memory, but one of my most precious memories occurred in February 2001. Dad was very sick at that time, so I offered to sit with him while Mom and Steve went to Sunday evening service. For two hours, I listened to the sound of his voice, soaked up his many “pearls of wisdom,” and delighted in just being alone with him. When it was time for us to return to Michigan, he held me so tight, as if he wanted the imprint of his arms and love for me to burned in my memory for ever. There are many days, as the tears flow down my cheeks, I stop for a moment just to remember those arms wrapped tight around me. I am so thankful that I have a Blessed Hope of one day soon gathering together, singing, laughing, sharing stories and feeling those arms holding me close.

This morning, I turned over, wide awake, only to find out that it was 3:20 a.m. I’ve learned not to fight the sleepless nights but to lie there enjoying the presence of God. God is always so real in the stillness of the early morning. As I made my way downstairs a few hours later and entered the room where I like to spend time with God, His presence continued to hover. It seemed as if God didn’t want to let me go about my day, just yet. I knelt down by my chair and began my devotions as always, thanking Him for another day, for keeping us safe through the night, for health and strength. Just as I started to go through my litany of requests, I felt overwhelmed by His love for me. I simply said, “God, you know what I have need of today and I ask that you would grant it.” As I continued to sit quietly in His presence, just listening to His voice, I realized His incredible love for me. The tears began to flow, His love flooded my soul and soon His language filled my heart and lips. I knew my day would begin soon, but for now I just wanted to be close to Him.

There is a worship song that comes to mind that portrays this morning’s experience:

Just to be close to you, is where I want to be
Let me hide myself inside your heart to find my destiny
Every step I take, is one less step I’ll need
To be in Your presence, close to thee

Someday soon I know I’ll see You face to face, sit at Your feet and feel Your warm embrace, but for now, it is enough Just To Be Close To You.

ONE BOARD AT A TIME

Mackenzie and Madison are going to get a new little sister in June. In anticipation of Baby Anabel’s arrival, Maddie is relinquishing her crib and graduating to sharing a trundle bed with Mackenzie. To make the transition a little more exciting, Holly (Mom) decided to take the opportunity to redecorate their room. Of course, the excited grandparents had to join in the fun. Holly painted the wall’s a beautiful purple then stenciled their names in deeper purple. A princess border and decals of Cinderella and Belle completed the wall décor. Grandma Niswonger contributed a new mattress, while Grandma and Grandpa Gilbert bought matching sheets, pillows and blankets to dress a bed fit for any little princess. Then came Dad (Phil) and Grandpa Niswonger’s part; a new Pergo floor.

We arrived in Gladstone, Thursday night in the middle of a snow storm. The girls were jumping up and down, waiting at the door to greet us. After hugs and kisses, Steve began to unload the car. Mackenzie excitedly asked what Grandpa was carrying in his arms, hoping for her usual surprise gift. Her mom explained that it was her new floor. “Where,” she asked in a puzzled voice. “In the box,” answered Holly. It still did not register how her floor could be in a box. The next day I went shopping with Holly, Mackenzie and Madison while Phil and Steve laid down a beautiful new floor before the trundle bed arrived. Mackenzie was amazed when we arrived back home to see her room transformed into a giant dance floor, great for twirling, pirouettes, and ice skating. Then the bed arrived, was made cozy and inviting with the new bedding and the other furniture found its place in the room. It was time to go to sleep, so we left with promises to come back for breakfast Saturday morning and say our final goodbyes. When we arrived for breakfast, both girls had to once again show off their new room. Mackenzie told Grandpa all about her new room and informed him that “the floor was made one board at a time.”

If Phil and Steve had laid the floor without the proper preparation, the floor would have been uneven, full of bumps and crooked. The old carpet was removed, nails and staples were pulled out of the underlayment and dirt and trash had to be swept away. A new pad was unrolled, the floor installed with special tools and the finish pieces had to be cut to the precise measurements. Once the proper steps were followed, the finished product was a beautiful, solid floor that will be enjoyed for years.

Often like Mackenzie, we are overwhelmed with excitement over the dreams and promises we have in God. Instead of our vision of God’s promise, we are met with a long box. We can’t see how anything of value can come from such a nondescript box; we want the whole floor. God looks at the situation and sees the old man, stained with sin and dirt that must first be removed. He continues to work on us, pulling out the bitterness and smoothing the scars that have marked our life. He covers us with His blood then bestows His mercy and grace upon us in preparation for His perfect plan to be fulfilled in our lives. If we will let God make us ONE BOARD AT A TIME, we will enjoy a lifetime of blessing and fulfill our destiny and purpose.