Our cottage at Higgins Lake in Northern Michigan is such a
peaceful place, usually, but this week the peacefulness was interrupted by squeals
and peals of laughter and children’s voices; it was Grandkid’s Camp 2013. I was sitting at the picnic table enjoying a
cup of coffee, when 4-year old Nathan walked up, looking sad and forlorn. “Grandma,” he said, “I
want to be older. I’ll never get to be
older.” Putting my arms around
him, I asked, “How old would you like to be, Nathan?” Without hesitation, Nathan replied, “10,
I want to be 10.” Now when you
consider that his oldest cousin, Mackenzie, will be 9 years old in a few days,
of course he wants to be 10; he wants to be “older.” Pulling him on my lap, I explained to Nathan
that God and Grandma thinks he is perfect exactly as he is now and that God
needs him to be 4 years old so that he can learn and grow. After a few more minutes of cuddling, he
climbed off my lap and happily ran off to join a lively game of make-believe.
How many minutes, days and years of my life have been spent
wishing I was something other than the person God wanted me to be? As a 4 year old, I wanted to be 10, until I
reached the age of 10, then it was 12, 16, 18, or 21. From the age of 2, I loved to sing and
perform for anyone who would listen. At
12, I was so excited to sing solo for the Camp Choir in front of about 500
people. Oh, I had dreams and my greatest
joy was being asked to “perform” a song in church. Finally, I realized that God hadn’t created
me to “perform” but to worship and worship didn’t involve being in front
singing at the top of my lungs but it involved standing in a pew, lifting my
hands to Heaven, allowing the tears to flow as my voice directed the praise to
Him. I had other aspirations, I wanted
to be the soft-spoken, sweet lady that everyone loved, confided in and
admired. Unfortunately, I saw things a
little too clearly, had solutions instead of patience and could be a little
intimidating; so I moved on. Over the years,
there have been so many things I wanted to be different in my life; I wanted to
be thinner, prettier, live on the ocean, be creative, and the list goes on and
on and on.
The beauty of “being older,” Nathan, is that I finally
accepted that I am the “ME” that God created and loves with an everlasting
love. He created me for a special
purpose and endowed me with the gifts and talents to be used to fulfill that
purpose. I may not sit and cry with you
for hours but if we talk long enough, we may find a solution for your
problem. I won’t be the soloist with the
microphone but if you listen closely, you will hear my voice lifted in worship
to my God. I won’t be the fashionista
and my shoes won’t be the latest designer style but if you are barefoot, I’ll
give them to you. I won’t have a
national ministry and be asked to travel the country speaking at Ladies
Conferences but you might find me hosting a group of ladies in my home or
leading devotions at the Rescue Mission.
I probably won’t write a “Best Seller” but I can send an email of
encouragement, post a scripture on face book or write an inspirational blog.
Before we were born, God had a purpose and a plan in mind
for each one of us. We can only be
complete in Him when we embrace and surrender our will to His plan. Rest in His arms, cuddle for a while and accept
that in Him you are perfect, then get up, shout for joy and go join in the
game; enjoy being “FOUR.”
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