Saturday, July 27, 2013

I WANT TO BE OLDER OR PRETTIER OR ............


Our cottage at Higgins Lake in Northern Michigan is such a peaceful place, usually, but this week the peacefulness was interrupted by squeals and peals of laughter and children’s voices; it was Grandkid’s Camp 2013.  I was sitting at the picnic table enjoying a cup of coffee, when 4-year old Nathan walked up, looking sad and forlorn.  “Grandma,” he said, “I want to be older.  I’ll never get to be older.”  Putting my arms around him, I asked, “How old would you like to be, Nathan?”  Without hesitation, Nathan replied, “10, I want to be 10.”  Now when you consider that his oldest cousin, Mackenzie, will be 9 years old in a few days, of course he wants to be 10; he wants to be “older.”  Pulling him on my lap, I explained to Nathan that God and Grandma thinks he is perfect exactly as he is now and that God needs him to be 4 years old so that he can learn and grow.  After a few more minutes of cuddling, he climbed off my lap and happily ran off to join a lively game of make-believe.
How many minutes, days and years of my life have been spent wishing I was something other than the person God wanted me to be?  As a 4 year old, I wanted to be 10, until I reached the age of 10, then it was 12, 16, 18, or 21.  From the age of 2, I loved to sing and perform for anyone who would listen.  At 12, I was so excited to sing solo for the Camp Choir in front of about 500 people.  Oh, I had dreams and my greatest joy was being asked to “perform” a song in church.  Finally, I realized that God hadn’t created me to “perform” but to worship and worship didn’t involve being in front singing at the top of my lungs but it involved standing in a pew, lifting my hands to Heaven, allowing the tears to flow as my voice directed the praise to Him.  I had other aspirations, I wanted to be the soft-spoken, sweet lady that everyone loved, confided in and admired.  Unfortunately, I saw things a little too clearly, had solutions instead of patience and could be a little intimidating; so I moved on.  Over the years, there have been so many things I wanted to be different in my life; I wanted to be thinner, prettier, live on the ocean, be creative, and the list goes on and on and on.

The beauty of “being older,” Nathan, is that I finally accepted that I am the “ME” that God created and loves with an everlasting love.  He created me for a special purpose and endowed me with the gifts and talents to be used to fulfill that purpose.  I may not sit and cry with you for hours but if we talk long enough, we may find a solution for your problem.  I won’t be the soloist with the microphone but if you listen closely, you will hear my voice lifted in worship to my God.  I won’t be the fashionista and my shoes won’t be the latest designer style but if you are barefoot, I’ll give them to you.  I won’t have a national ministry and be asked to travel the country speaking at Ladies Conferences but you might find me hosting a group of ladies in my home or leading devotions at the Rescue Mission.  I probably won’t write a “Best Seller” but I can send an email of encouragement, post a scripture on face book or write an inspirational blog.
Before we were born, God had a purpose and a plan in mind for each one of us.  We can only be complete in Him when we embrace and surrender our will to His plan.  Rest in His arms, cuddle for a while and accept that in Him you are perfect, then get up, shout for joy and go join in the game; enjoy being “FOUR.”

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