WE'RE BROTHERS; SOMETIMES WE HURT EACH OTHER

Having raised two boys, it is no surprise to see 6-year old Caleb and 4-year old Nathan sword fighting, wrestling or playing “Superhero” in my living room; that’s what boys do!  I also remember how quickly “play” can escalate to the next level and become “fighting;” that’s what boys do!  Loudly, firmly and with authority, I said, “BOYS!!! That’s enough!  Someone is going to get hurt!”  Nathan paused just long enough to inform me, “It’s ok Grandma, we’re brothers, and sometimes we hurt each other.”  BOOOOMMMM!!!  He connects with the ball and Grandma gets it right between the eyes!  It always amazes me how your kids and grandkids can hit you with some truths using just a few simple words.

One of the things I have learned over the years is, the only people that can truly hurt you are the people you care about and have given that power over you.  It is the people to which you are the closest and most vulnerable; the ones you share your heart with or your innermost feelings.  These are the people whose opinions matter; your family, closest friends, your “brothers and sisters.”  A stranger can call me “fat, stupid and ugly and give me an obscene gesture, as I get out of my car and by the time I get from the parking lot to the store, I say, “whatevah" and forget about it.  Not so, if it comes from someone whose opinion I value.  The wounds and the scars can last a lifetime.

Stop a minute and look at the reverse side.  I know there have been many times that I have carelessly thrown a barbed dart while thinking, “its ok we’re sisters/brothers and sometimes we hurt each other.”  Then continued merrily along my way, never considering the damage my actions have caused.  IT’S NOT OK!!!  Listen to the words of Jesus in John 13:34-36 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. ³⁵ By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  How will men know we are disciples of Jesus if we are constantly sword fighting, backbiting or wrestling for position and attention?  Are we trying to destroy those we love?  Picking and finding fault with each other and fighting with our words and deeds will eventually destroy relationships and prevent the blessing of God in your life.   Galatians 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” ¹⁵ But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!

I may think it is cute for a 4 and 6 year old to stick their tongues out at each other; to wrestle and sword fight but there comes a time when we have to GROW UP!  Thankfully, my 34 and 36 year old sons don’t wrestle each other to the living room floor every time they get together.  The superhero capes and swords have been passed along to their children.  They can actually sit and have a civil conversation…most times.  It is time that we mature in our behavior toward our brothers and sisters in Christ.  It is time to put the swords down and STOP biting and devouring each other. 

 Psalms 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!  I want a good and pleasant life, don’t you?  One of the best ways to have unity is to pray for your brother or sister.  When you are truly seeking the blessing of God for your brother or sister, you see them through a different lens and the desire for strife ceases.  Be DELIBERATELY ENCOURAGING.  If saying encouraging words to others does not come to you naturally, plan for it.  Pick the one person you seem to have the most difficulty loving and think of all the lovely, encouraging things you can say (even if you don’t want to); then SAY THEM!  The most important thing is when you are around others, SMILE!  A genuinely, warm smile can “mend a lot of fences” especially if it accompanies an “I’m sorry.”  I know it would bring a smile to God’s heart if just once He could hear his children say, “It’s ok God, we’re brothers and we LOVE each other.”

ARE YOU SPEAKING PROPHETICALLY?

Proverbs 25:11, A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

WORDS MATTER!  The words you speak are not just empty sounds that fade into the wind, they matter and they have a great responsibility attached to them.  They can speak life and blessing to the hearer or hurt and destruction, but they will have an effect.  The old adage, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is totally false; words can break hearts, wound spirits and leave eternal scars.  WORDS MATTER!

A lesson I wish I had learned at a younger age is the words you speak over and to your children can have a prophetic affect. Research reveals that a child who is constantly told he/she is “no good, stupid, fat, clumsy or a piece of garbage,” will begin to believe that about themselves and ultimately become those words.  On the other hand, a child that is told they are loved, that their thoughts and opinions matter, encouraged in pursuing their dreams, and affirmed with loving correction will be successful.  True, some have been over-affirmed without the loving correction and we have created egotistical monsters but by using affirmation correctly and choosing your words, carefully, you can prophesy great things into the lives of your children and even your peers.

I will never forget the first time someone told me I was “sweet and nice.”  At first my mind just couldn’t wrap itself around that phrase; they were talking about me!  I couldn’t wait to get home and let Steve know that someone thought I was sweet and nice.  He, of course, looked at me as if I had lost it and said, “Well of course you are, I always thought so.”  My mind was reeling, I didn’t know my husband thought those things about me, no one had ever told me before.  I had wonderful parents who loved me and cared for me, but believed that pointing out negative traits would “shame” me into being a better person.  From the time I began to talk, I had a mouth that needed to be tamed.  I knew I was a “smart alec,” “hateful,” “sharp-tongued,” “intimidating,” and always “had to have the last word,” because I was told so.  I tried to be the soft-spoken, sweet girl that everyone flocked to but deep down I knew I just wasn’t born to be sweet and nice until one day a person, unknowingly spoke a prophetic word over me.  That sparked something in me that longed to hear those words again and again.  I began to find ways to speak loving things to others, to affirm them rather than criticize, to smile rather than retort and to listen rather than speak. A Facebook connection, recently commented that I was so arrogant and needed to tone things down; the old nature threatened to rise up.  I wanted to come back with sharpness and a quick retort but I refuse to let those words prophesy into my life.  I took them seriously and stepped back to do self-examination and asked God for a “heart adjustment,” but I refuse to allow the words to once again define me.

Jeremiah 29:11says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  Allow God’s opinion to define you; allow Him to speak a prophetic word into your life.  He has great thoughts regarding you and He created you to be a beautiful vessel, set apart to accomplish great things.  GOD’S WORDS MATTER; let them be the words you speak to others.

THE AWESOME BODY OF CHRIST

Having just come from a wonderful conference, I am in awe of the Body of Christ. I am learning to appreciate and celebrate each member’s uniqueness. For many years I was judgmental and disapproving of anyone who acted, looked, thought, spoke or worshiped differently than the norm of “my little box.” God has helped me to understand that He calls individuals BECAUSE OF, not DESPITE OF their differences.

Thursday evening Steve and I sat with three other couples that we have grown to love and count as dear friends. It would be hard to find four couples who are more diverse. We are different in looks, temperament, taste in clothes, food and hairstyles, ministry styles; pretty much anything you can name. The only thing that could forge a friendship among such a group is the Holy Ghost and our love for God.

John and Darlene have pastored in Duluth, MN for several years and have 2 daughters and 1 grandson. Mike and Tammi pastor in Grand Rapids, MI, have one daughter and 2 granddaughters. Wayne and Suzanne live in Monticello, IN where they previously pastored and are currently seeking for God’s will in their lives. They have a son in college and a daughter who is a junior in high school. Of course, Steve and I pastor in Saginaw, MI, have 2 sons, 2 granddaughters and a grandson. That is where the similarities end.

Darlene is a classy dresser, wears her hair in a more traditional style, is soft spoken, and obviously adores her husband and daughters. Suzanne is my “wile chile” friend. I wish I possessed some of her boldness when it comes to dress. Despite her “advanced” age of 40+?, she wears her long dark hair straight, hanging past her shoulders, sometimes with a hat perched jauntily atop her head; loves vintage clothes and crazy shoes. Suzanne is a vivacious, lively person who gets totally involved in worship, likes to touch people when she talks to them and is full of boundless energy. The best way to describe Tammi is ultra-feminine. Everything about her screams, “I am a woman and I love it.” She loves ruffles, cute little shoes and purses and even walks like a lady. Tammi loves people and it makes you feel good just to be with her. She is always smiling and allows her intense love for God to shine through at all times. I am the most unspontaneous person I know. I usually opt for the most practical, sensible solution even though others sound much more fun and fulfilling. I dress on the conservative, classic side of the spectrum with the exception of a few edgy shoes now and then. When everyone around me is enjoying boisterous worship, I stand quietly, hands raised with tears streaming down my face.

How do I fit in to this Body of Believers? Only the magnificent God I serve could bring us all together. I Corinthians 12:12 says “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. 13For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. 14For the body is not one member, but many.

I may be the eyes, Darlene the hand, Suzanne the feet and Tammi the heart, but we have all been baptized into one body and drank of one Spirit; and He makes all the difference.