YOU ARE THE REASON

On this Christmas morning, don’t forget, YOU are the reason Jesus was born.  HE came to redeem YOU. He died for YOU.  HE LOVES YOU!!!

We all search for significance; to matter, if even to just one; to be loved as “ME.”  Over the years, I have been involved with many groups, religious and secular and in most of them, I was just “part of the group,” working toward the common goal.  But I longed for more.  I wanted to be valued, not just for what I contributed to the group or not just as long as I was useful to reaching the goal and certainly not because I could be counted in the total number, but I needed to be loved, personally.  These experiences lead us to believe this is how God views us; we are just “One in a World.”  God has a plan; there is an end game and He values you as just one of the players.  One day, when you die, you can go to Heaven but until then, God really isn’t concerned or involved with your personal life.  Oh, but He is and He does. HE LOVES EACH ONE PERSONALLY AND INDIVIDUALLY.

Listening to the sounds of laughter and watching my grandchildren play with their new Christmas toys, I thought of how special each little person is to my heart.  Oh yes, I speak of them as the “grandbabies and every year, I host “Grandkid’s Camp,” but they are so much more than a small subset in a large group.  Each one possesses a unique talent and personality that I adore and respond to individually.  Mackenzie is so smart and has such a sweet personality that loves animals and people.  Madison is a little “fashionista” who loves to create and perform.  She is always ready with a song or a dance.  Nothing stops Caleb.  From the time he started walking at 8 months until today, at 5 years, he has not stopped exploring, learning and discovering “why.”  Nathan, my sweet, lovable little Nathan; he is so tender and caring toward the younger babies.  I love the way he dances as soon as he hears music and his little voice naming his favorite superheroes.  Next is my beautiful, blond, blue-eyed Anabel.  Her laugh is infectious and just about the time she overwhelms you with the drama, her arms go around your neck and she climbs on your lap for some snuggle-time.  My precious, Maicie, who will be two in a few weeks; I love watching her blond curls bounce as she runs to keep up with her brothers.  Her giggles and version of “gama” when she runs into my arms is enough to make my world stop turning for a few minutes.  2 1/2 month old Payton, who completes our family; his toothless smile, his coos and gurgles as we “talk” have completely stolen my heart.  Each one is uniquely valuable to me by themselves.  I love them Personally and Individually.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

The verse rolls glibly off my tongue and I feel so blessed to be part of that world.  The love of God amazes me.  How could He love a world that 99% of the time dismisses Him and follows the path of its own choosing?  At times it almost seems an ethereal concept; this world that God loves.  I reach out to touch just a small piece of this world and though I’m a part, I can’t seem to wrap my mind around a whole world.  I substitute “Susan” for the “Whole World” and it becomes much more clear; God loves me, personally; HE LOVES ME!

For God so loved SUSAN that He gave His only begotten Son, that IF SUSAN believes in Him, she should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I NEED TO FEEL

A typical Friday in December, a little warmer than usual, but pulling on a jacket I headed out to get in some early morning, last minute Christmas shopping.  The clerks were slow and untrained.  My irritation level rose as, grumbling to my fellow shopper, I waited in line behind a woman who’s entire Christmas layaway had been lost.  Finally, on the road to the next destination, only to sit through 2 traffic lights as crazy people collecting for charity wove their way through the gathering holiday traffic.  I passed the mall and for just a moment considered…but no, I didn’t have the patience and a tiny atom of apprehension urged me to drive on by.  Finally home, I decided a workout would ease the stress and burning a few calories during the holidays is always a good decision.  It was a typical Friday morning except that once again a small piece of our world was being transformed by evil.

The reports began to cross the newswires.  Like most I was horrified; glued to the television, I waited for the endless updates, misinformation, corrections, interviews, press conferences and pictures.  Suddenly, I reached “Emotional Overload.”  My mind could handle no more.  Switching off the television, I sat weeping; horrified, in pain and sad, very sad.  It didn’t make sense…the innocent babies, a dedicated principal, school teacher, counselor…why?

Wherever you looked, whatever media source was tuned in, television, radio, face book…the shooting in Newtown, CT had consumed our lives.  We asked questions; we searched for answers; WHY?  Perhaps we could blame violent video games, mental illness, bad parenting, guns, taking prayer out of schools, removing God from a political platform, booing God at a political convention, or our President declaring the United States to no longer be a Christian Nation.   Many turned to prayer; others asked, “Where was God?” and “How could a loving God allow such evil?”  O’Reilly stated it was “Pure evil” but in Geraldo’s opinion, “Evil couldn’t begin to explain this action.”  We searched for answers to our WHY, but there were none.

Saturday morning; I could not turn on the television and instead filled the room with soft Praise & Worship music.  I didn’t want to feel anymore.  I didn’t want to weep; I wanted the horror, the pain; the sadness to disappear.  Where was the Christmas joy, laughter, excitement?  I wanted “Peace on Earth, Good will to Men.”  Then I suddenly realized, I NEED TO FEEL!!!

 I NEED TO FEEL the horror that such evil lurks in the darkest places of tortured minds.  I NEED TO FEEL the pain of loss that so many families are experiencing during this season.  I NEED TO FEEL the sadness of living in a world that has carelessly tossed God’s love aside to satisfy their own pursuits.  You see the real danger is in becoming numb, no longer caring, unable to feel the horror, the pain; the sadness of a lost and dying world.

Although at times I may be overwhelmed, let me feel horror at the destruction sin leaves behind; allow the pain that drives me to my knees as I view a world of hopeless, searching people.  As the tears fill my eyes and the sadness envelops me, “break my heart for what breaks yours.”  I NEED TO FEEL!!!

ONE YEAR LATER

Has a year already passed?  A year in a new chapter of the  “Exciting Life of Steve and Susan.”  A year that began with us clinging to the only thing we knew with certainty; GOD IS FAITHFUL and has ended with the certainty; GOD IS FAITHFUL!  A year that began confused, wounded and bleeding and ended peacefully, with a few scars, but healed.  Yes, it has been a year filled with surprises; new friends in a new church, a new house in a new city, a new job, new experiences, a new grandson and through it all GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL.

When we left Michigan to pastor a small church in Tennessee, we arrived full of hopes and dreams, so privileged that God would allow us a small role in His grand plan.  Our dream house sold and although our business and precious family were still in Michigan, our joyful hearts found a new home in Tennessee.  I fell in love with the mountains, the slower way of life, the southern accents and the warm feeling I had every time the clerk said, “Appreciate you” instead of the usual “thank you.”   It was a wonderful dream that slowly faded and we awoke one day with nothing but shattered pieces. 

Like the story of “Humpty Dumpty,” we couldn’t put it all back together again.  Our dreams had ended, the joy had turned into depression, and our confidence had given way to confusion.  With no church, no home, no future plans, shattered dreams and barely clinging to a few shreds of hope and the knowledge that GOD IS FAITHFUL, we fell on our faces and gave it all back to God.  Slowly, the Light began to flicker and once again burst into flame.

God, the “Repairer of the Breach”,” Restorer of the Dream” and the “Mender of Broken Hearts” still had a plan for us.  The disillusionment, wounds, disappointments and tears all became part of the process.  We left all the pieces at His feet and quietly waited. One week before our world caved in, God had orchestrated a “chance” meeting with two wonderful people who pastored a church that would love us, soothe our hurts and allow us to continue working in the Kingdom.  Next, we found a beautiful, new home that had been on the market for one year, reduced in price, just waiting for the Niswongers and God’s perfect timing.  A door opened for Steve to take a position with a company that will not only provide for our family but enhances the business Steve started years ago that will bless our children.  Finally, in October, we welcomed a precious new grandson, Payton into our family; my joy is complete and GOD IS FAITHFUL.

Satan always tries to destroy the things of God, the hope, joy, dreams and the plan, but he cannot unless you give all of them to him.  You see the whole package is a gift from God to you and only you can choose who controls it.  Allow God to develop the dream in your life, even if all that is left is shattered pieces.   He will unfold the plan and restore your joy in ways you could have never conceived.

HOLD MY HAND AND DON'T TOUCH

Her Mommy had warned me, "Anabel's like a "bull in a china shop."  You do not want to take her into the candy/gift shop.  But I couldn't resist her big, beautiful blue eyes.

 So…Grandma:  Anabel, you have to hold my hand and you can't touch anything. 

Anabel:  Ok Grandma.

 And into the store we went, her little hand securely nestled in mine.

Now Saykllys Candy in Escanaba, MI is an absolute delight to most of the senses.  They have shelves of beautiful, fragile gifts that I can hardly refrain from picking up to examine more closely.  In one corner is a colorful collection of soft, furry creatures just begging to be hugged by little arms.  But, the back of the store contains the most enticing displays in my eyes, CHOCOLATE!!!    Not only do they have the best chocolates that I have ever tasted, but they have chocolate made into fun shapes, jelly beans, gummy worms and other gummy creatures, giant pinwheel suckers and more…just begging to be touched and clutched in little hands.

As we stopped in front of one delicious display, Anabel slowly reached a hand, stopped, looked up at Grandma and let her hand fall back down to her side.  Of course, Grandma didn’t let her leave with that little hand empty.  Anabel walked out of the store with her own bag of treats, selected just for her, in one hand, her other hand, still safe and secure in Grandma’s hand.

Many years ago...
God:  Susan, take hold of my hand.  You will be in the world but you are not of this world; don't touch.
Susan:  OK, God.

As we journey through life, there are so many enticing displays along the road.  Oh they are meant to excite and sometimes overwhelm the senses.  Their beauty is dazzling, just begging to be touched and tasted.  One hand is tightly holding onto Jesus but the other hand is free and slowly reaches toward the colorful, exciting display marketed by this world.  Maybe, just one finger, a touch, a stroke, a taste…then I look up, into the eyes of Jesus and my wandering hand falls back down to my side.  Just like Anabel, I am never left empty handed.  Jesus, daily loads me with benefits. 

The treats of this world are fragile.  They are so beautiful and enticing but eventually they shatter and you are left with nothing but broken pieces of a destroyed life.  Keep your hand securely tucked in the hand of the Master, keep your eyes on Him and He will lead you to the abundance He has prepared especially for you.  I promise you will be delighted and satisfied.

IF ONLY MATTHEW COULD HAVE POSTED ON YOUTUBE

Yes, I know the Pastor has studied, prayed and labored over the Sunday sermon. He also has to come up with a catchy title that captures his entire thought in three or four words.  The title is then, proudly displayed on the screen to hopefully focus your thoughts and attention on the truths he is about to deliver.  It works, it really does, that is, until he gets off his notes and says something that gets my mind really working.

 So Pastor Chipman is preaching that we are never alone.  Yep, that was the title, “NEVER ALONE.”  And it was a wonderful, comforting, feel-good, love-you-Jesus message.  After all, Jesus promised to “Never leave us or forsake us,” walk with us through the valleys, guide us through the storm and carry us when we no longer have the strength to follow.  You see, “Never Alone” is a very good title.  Jesus is always there, when we are bad, good, selfish, completely tuned in or unfaithful.  Take Peter, for example, he was far from perfect.  Why, he even denied the Lord; THREE TIMES; even I take a breather in between failings.  Then it happened, Pastor Chipman, I’m assuming, off his notes, said, “Are you sure you would want to be an apostle?  It might be you and your failures we would be reading about.”  My mind began whirring.  I’m sure the sermon was a masterpiece and I’m sure I believe, I’m “Never Alone,” but I’m not sure what other deep, theological truths I missed.

Have you ever thought what it would have been like to have your name mentioned in the Bible?  Most of the time, it just isn’t that flattering!  Even the Heroes of Faith had failures that are displayed in “living color” for all to read throughout eternity.  Ok, let’s look at Peter for example; what a great man of God, martyred for his faith, given the keys to the kingdom, thrown in jail and preached the first message of Pentecost to the Gentiles.  BUT….if you were Peter, how would you feel about everyone, 2,000 years later, knowing all the things you would like to have long forgotten?  Now it wasn’t Peter telling these unflattering malfunction tales on himself.  Oh no, it was his friends and colleagues, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.  Can you imagine the fun they could have had if YouTube had been invented?

PETER SINKS…Here’s Peter getting out of the boat.  He thinks he can walk on water, hahaha.  There he goes, sinking into the water; good thing Jesus was there to save him, hahaha!!!

PETER CALLED SATAN…Jesus tells the disciples that He will be killed and raised again on the third day.  Now watch Peter tell Jesus, “It ain’t gonna happen.”  Listen closely, Jesus turns to Peter and says, “Get behind me Satan; you are an offense to me.” Oh, hahahah, Peter sure did deserve that put down, hahaha!!!

PETER’S FEET WASHED UNDER PROTEST…Jesus brings out a basin and towel and begins to wash the Disciple’s feet.  Peter says, “You’ll never wash my feet.”  Jesus to Peter, “If I don’t wash your feet, you will have no part of me.”  Now here is the best part, Peter says to Jesus, “Then wash my feet, my hands and my head.”  Hahaha, Peter wanted Jesus to wash his head, hahaha!!!

PETER DENIES JESUS… This one has to be the most embarrassing; Peter says to Jesus, “I will never deny you.  Even if I have to die with you, I will not deny you.” (If you listen closely, you will hear all the disciples say the same thing, but this story is about Peter)  Jesus tells Peter “Before the rooster crows you will deny me three times.” The evening continues and along comes a damsel, a maid and others milling around.  As they begin to accuse Peter of being with Jesus, he begins to deny that he even knows Jesus, until finally…we had to bleep that part out; he began to curse and swear.  Listen closely…”Cock-a-doodle-doo.”  Can’t even laugh at this one; how embarrassing!!!

We’ve probably all had “friends” that couldn’t wait to share our “stupidest” moments.  Some of the finer ones have been captured and posted on Face book and YouTube or recounted over and over by the blustering “Life of the Party” friend. You may know about my “open mouth, insert foot” moment or watch my graceful “slip and fall” moment but I am so thankful that my deepest, darkest secrets are known only between me and God.  Actually, God doesn’t even remember them because He has covered the ugliness with His precious blood.  If, like Peter, I continue to get up and keep trying, one day maybe it will be said, “they marveled and took knowledge of her that she had been with Jesus.”  Or, I may actually have the opportunity, like Peter to proclaim, “We ought to obey God rather than men.”  Then again, I really would rather not be threatened with prison or stoning.  The point is, you are “NEVER ALONE!”  Who knows what great thing God is preparing to accomplish through you.  It was big mouth, sinking, stumbling Peter who was given the “Keys to the Kingdom.”

SPEECH, THE GREAT BETRAYER

Matthew 26:73-74 And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, “Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you.”

74 Then he began to curse and swear, saying, “I do not know the Man!” 

In the Gospel of Matthew, we find the account of Peter’s denial of Christ.  Just a few hours earlier, he had bravely stated to Jesus, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!”  After, a long, harrowing day, the brave statements had diminished, Peter had fallen asleep during prayer with the Master, one of his inner-circle had betrayed Jesus, all the disciples had fled, and yet, somehow, Peter had made his way back as far as the outer courtyard.  As he sat, warming his hands by the fire, the accusations began; “You were with Jesus of Galilee, This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth,” which of course, Peter denied.  Then came the final indictment, one which Peter would have a hard time countering, “Surely you also are one of them, for YOUR SPEECH betrays you.”  What would Peter do; what closing argument could shut the mouth of the Accusers?  To remove all doubt, Peter began to curse and swear.  His speech no longer betrayed his connection to Jesus.

What does your speech say about you?  Is it kind?  Encouraging?  Loving? Does it identify you as a Citizen of Heaven or betray the true intent of your heart?  Matthew and Luke, both remind us that “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”  Don’t forget SPEECH covers all the avenues of communication you may travel.

 In today’s world, social media has become the GREAT BETRAYER!!!  It is as if we feel an anonymity to state anything that pops in our head, post suggestive pictures or opine in any way we choose because no one can see us.  Just because, you are not looking into someone’s eyes as you post updates and comments does not lessen the impact.  Colossians 4:6 says “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”  Take an extra minute or two before you hit the “POST” or “SEND” button.  Ask yourself, does my update fit the criteria set forth in Colossians?  Do my pictures create smiles and portray God’s love or do they put ungodly thoughts in someone’s mind?  If I have a differing opinion do I state it with kindness or do I feel a need to insult the person with whom I disagree?  Does my speech point the way to Jesus Christ or does my speech betray me and portray the “real me”?

Psalms 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.”

YOU DIDN'T WRITE THAT!!!

I am and always have been a voracious reader.  Yes, I looked up the word voracious, on line and it definitely fits my reading habits.  My love affair with reading began in 1st grade when I found out that the words coming from my mouth were actually different combinations of letters.  I also found that those words could be arranged in different combinations on a page to tell a story, describe a sunset and even transport me to faraway places without ever leaving my chair.  Thus began my fascination with the written word.  I read every book I could get my hands on, read signs and even the writing on the drain culvert; of course Mom quickly explained that I shouldn’t sound out every word I saw.  Around 7 years old, I discovered newspapers.  They contained real news about real people that was happening right now.  On Saturday and Sunday, I would wake up at 6:30 just to be the first to read the newspaper.  The local library banned me from checking books out in the morning and returning them in the afternoon because I wasn’t giving them time to process the cards; this was years before computer technology.  A couple of years ago, Steve bought me a Kindle, now I carry over a 100 books, ready anytime; anywhere.

When I turned 50, my love for reading morphed into a love for writing.  I write when I’m happy, excited, sad, grieving, thoughtful, outraged or when any other emotion invades my life.  There is something so satisfying about describing feelings, thoughts, concepts or revelations through the written word.  I never grow bored with the challenge of using words to transport my reader smack dab into the middle of my imagination.  Through reading and writing, I have developed an appreciation and respect for the work of other writers because each finished work is a very personal piece of the author.

Now you understand why it is so troubling when I see quotes and sometimes whole paragraphs and articles posted on social media without mentioning the name of the author.  No, as a matter of fact, often they are posted as the poster’s own awesome thoughts and creations.  Thumbs up, kudos, oohs and aahs are given and even then the poster refuses to clarify the authorship and instead accepts the accolades as his due.  I know that the world has been around for thousands of years and there is probably nothing new under the sun that has not been said or published somewhere.  I am sure that if someone wanted to Google various lines from any piece of writing, they could find somewhere it had already been spoken or written.  I am also sure I have been guilty of not doing enough research on some lines but if it is not my own thoughts, I try to cite the author or at least, author unknown, so as to not mislead my reader into thinking it is my brilliance on the page.  In the academic/journalistic world, such behavior is called Plagiarism.  Reporters have been fired and students have been expelled for stealing someone’s creativity and passing it off as their own. 

Recently, I was listening to an awesome sermon.  It touched me so deeply; I wanted to post a link so that others could be blessed.  Turning on the television, I heard, to my surprise the same sermon being preached by a different preacher.  It wasn’t just the same scripture text or the same idea or title, IT WAS THE SAME SERMON, WORD FOR WORD!!!  I wanted to scream, “YOU DIDN’T WRITE THAT!!!”  I didn’t post the link because I wasn’t sure who should be credited with the sermon.  I recently posted an article on my Face book page and imagine my surprise as I read another posting today with the exact same article.  The difference, I provided a link to the article which cited the author; today’s post had the article rewritten, word for word as the poster’s own thoughts on the matter.  The comments posted after the article confirmed that most everyone thought the poster was brilliant for having revealed such awesome truths.  I continued reading the comments, sure that somewhere the owner of the page had posted a comment clarifying that it wasn’t his article but one that was so good, he had to share, but NO, the pats on the back and accolades kept flowing.  I wanted to type, “YOU DIDN’T WRITE THAT!!!”  I refrained. 

So please remember, just because you can type or manipulate a pen doesn’t make the words you write your property unless they come from your brain and your heart.  If you author something and I repost, I will be sure and cite you as the originator.  If you post something that you read or hear, please, please, please give the author credit or at least (anon) so that you are not guilty of receiving praise for plagiarism.  According to dictionary.com, plagiarism is “an act or instance of using or closely imitating the language and thoughts of another author without authorization and the representation of that author's work as one's own, as by not crediting the original author.”  And according to the Bible; Exodus 20:15, “Thou shall not steal.”

KEEP FOLLOWING THE ARROWS

Last week, Steve and I spent a wonderful, relaxing weekend at our cottage at Higgins Lake.  It was such a beautiful pre-autumn, fluffy cloud, 70 degree day that we decided to take a hike along Marl Lake.  Although we have owned the cottage for about 14 years we had never followed the trails around Marl Lake, so this would be a new adventure.  At the beginning of the trail was a map showing the trails and the various checkpoints all clearly marked, so we confidently began our trek into the woods.  We were quickly surrounded by the sounds of chirps, cracking twigs, and scurrying feet harmonizing with the rustling leaves and the soft whisper of ferns and water lapping at the shore.  We continued along the path lined with pine needles and falling leaves and suddenly there it was, just as the map promised; checkpoint 2 and an arrow pointing ahead to checkpoint 3.  All we had to do was follow the path.

It wasn’t all mindless walking, a couple of times I stumbled over a tree root, sometimes the ground was uneven, we stepped around large stones and had to climb over a fallen tree that blocked the path but we continued along following the signs.  Then, up a hill and around a bend it happened; a fork in the path.  Both paths were equally cleared and equally inviting, so a discussion ensued.  Steve, who has an unbelievable sense of direction, was sure we should take the path that went to the right.  After all, it looked easy enough and was definitely going in the direction of the parking lot (which we could not see).  Although the other path was narrower and less smooth, sensible, unadventurous Susan felt we should keep going straight ahead because there was no sign with an arrow pointing to the right.  I won; we walked straight ahead and ended at the parking lot.  I’m not sure where Steve’s path led and I never saw an opening to the parking lot where it ended.  It might have been a shorter, smoother way or it might have been a dead end…it will remain the “path not taken.”

God has clearly marked the Path of Life.  It is up to us to trust the signs He puts along the way and follow them.  Sometimes it seems that it is a long walk between checkpoints and doubt begins to set in that we are even on the right path.  Just when we are about to turn around, there it is, a sign with the arrow pointing straight ahead.  Often a tree root or large stone may cause us to stumble or a fallen tree may delay the journey; climb over it and keep on walking.  As you continue along the path, you will be presented with a choice; straight ahead or veer to the right.  No matter how short or easy the alternate path may seem, remember God’s path is clearly marked.  If you don’t see the sign with the arrow pointing, keep walking straight ahead.  You may wonder what adventures you missed by not exploring the “path not taken” but rest assured you have only missed a few snares, regrets and ultimately being lost in the woods.  Just keep walking!  Even if it is a step at a time, checkpoint to checkpoint; walk straight ahead and soon you will have made it and break through to the clearing.   

WATCH OUT DEVIL, I'M TELLING JESUS!!!

 

We all have bad days, weeks and sometimes months that turn into a bad year.  There are even times that it seems the floodgates of Hell have been opened and all of its evil forces are coming against you.  What do you do?  Where do you turn?  There are only 2 choices; GIVE UP or like David, CALL UPON THE LORD!

In Psalms 18:4-6, David describes his situation:   The pangs of death surrounded me and the floods of ungodliness made me afraid.  5 The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me; the snares of death confronted me. David chose option #2.  Verse 6 says, In my distress I called upon the Lord and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple and my cry came before Him, even to His ears. 

As I read Psalms 18 this morning, my mind went back to different periods of my life when I could totally relate to David’s lament.  Nothing was right in my life and no matter how hard I tried to fight, the attacks continued from all sides.  Like David, in my distress I called upon the Lord.  I have to confess at times I didn’t have David’s confidence that my cry had come before Him.  Actually, most of the time it seemed that it went out, hit the heavens and boomeranged right back into my lap.  Now that I’ve made it through the storm, I can look back and truthfully say that God had heard my voice and was working on my behalf the entire time.

Although we may not hear the echo of our voice as it reaches the temple of God or be given the insight into the flurry of activities going on in the heavenlies on our behalf, Psalms 18:7-14 gives us a snapshot.  What is God’s reaction when the cries of one of His children reach His ears?  Psalms 18:7-14 Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, because He was angry.  ⁸ Smoke went up from His nostrils, and devouring fire from His mouth; coals were kindled by it.  ⁹ He bowed the heavens also, and came down with darkness under His feet.  ¹⁰ And He rode upon a cherub, and flew; He flew upon the wings of the wind.    ¹¹ He made darkness His secret place; His canopy around Him was dark waters and thick clouds of the skies.  ¹² From the brightness before Him, His thick clouds passed with hailstones and coals of fire. ¹³ The Lord thundered from heaven, and the Most High uttered His voice, hailstones and coals of fire.  ¹⁴ He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe, lightnings in abundance, and He vanquished them.

WOW!!! Talk about a Father defending his child from the bully!!!!  God doesn’t mess around!  The next time the devil comes slithering around my house, shooting his little fiery darts, there will be no hesitation; I WILL CALL UPON THE LORD!

It doesn't end there, God doesn't stop working on your behalf just because the enemy has been sent scampering off with his tail between his legs.  Psalms 18:19 gives us the finished picture of God’s love, He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.  What a beautiful thought, God doesn’t just run to our rescue because He is God or because there is a bully picking on the little guy.  Oh No!!! My Champion, My God delights in me.

♪♪ “I give myself away, I give myself away, so You can use me”♪♪.  The song softly played in the background as I cleaned the house.  Oh, I know about giving myself away; you better believe I know!  I’m a Wife, Mom and Grandma and some days it seems that everyone wants a piece of me until I feel like a jigsaw puzzle that has been scattered.  So YES, I understand perfectly what this song is saying.

For years, I also lived this way spiritually; giving myself away.  Before you throw out the accolades or judge me, let me explain.  I grew up “giving myself away.”  I am the oldest of 6 kids.  My little sister, the third of six was born when I was 5; I became “Mommy’s Little Helper.”  When my baby sister was born, I was 12 and became her second mom.  I could change diapers, polish white baby shoes, clean up puke and brush hair like a pro.  I remember losing at board games so the “little ones” wouldn’t feel bad and would continue playing.  It was very confusing, the first time I played a game with “Cutthroat” Steve.  He was the baby of the family and I didn’t understand his rules.  Several years later I read, “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman and realized that my Love Language is “Acts of Service.”  I finally began to understand myself.

Back to the spiritual aspect of my life; now that you know who I am, is it any wonder I thought that was what God expected of me?  If I gave myself to praying, teaching, singing, study, volunteering, perfect church attendance, organizing, encouraging and anything else I could “do for God,” then surely I was fulfilling His plan for me.  After all, it was “FOR GOD!”  Why then, did I feel so exhausted, frustrated and unfulfilled?  Where was all the joy that comes from “working for God?”  I had no more pieces to give yet I felt as if there was something more from me that God was seeking.

One day, I don’t remember exactly when or how, the loving voice of God finally broke through my misconceptions and exhausted efforts, “It’s not what you can DO for Me that I am seeking, it is you; give YOURSELF to Me.”  What a relief!!!!  It wasn’t easy; in fact sometimes “doing for the Lord,” was much less draining.  Giving myself to God literally meant “Giving Myself Away.”  I had to let go of my dreams, aspirations, ideas and opinions.  It was of utmost importance that I present to God a vessel totally empty of me so it could be filled with Him.  I had to GIVE MYSELF AWAY. 

It’s been quite a journey and there were some dreams that were so hard to release.  I wanted to cling to some of my interpretations of life because they had become my foundation.  At times I mourned the loss of position and yearned for the days of “working for God.”  There are still bits and pieces of me that try to take control but every day I learn how to “give away” just a little more.  Nothing can replace the feel of His Presence, the joy of hearing His voice, and knowing His hand is guiding my steps. I still love to sing praises to His Name, I still feel the urging to minister and bless someone in need and every time an opportunity presents itself, I love to teach the Word of God.  The difference?  It’s about Him; His Plan for me; He is leading the way.

♪♪ “Take my heart; take my life, as a living sacrifice.  All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I place them in your hands.”  “I give myself away; I give myself away, so You can use me.  I give myself away; I give myself away, so You can use me.” ♪♪ (William McDowell)

SOMEDAY I WANT TO BE A DOORKEEPER?

 

Psalms 84:10  For a day in your courts is better than a thousand.  I would rather be a DOORKEEPER in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

Someday, I want to be a teacher, a nurse, a policeman, a fireman, a librarian and even a garbage man because they get to ride on the side of the truck and jump off.  We all had dreams of what we wanted to be when we “grew up.”  These aspirations were triggered at various times by the heroes that moved in and out of our life.  It seemed like a lot of fun to write on a chalkboard or weigh people at the doctor’s office and what child didn’t want to zoom around in a police car or fire truck with lights blazing and sirens blaring.  I loved to read and organize, so the librarian’s job seemed to be the ultimate; I could alphabetize all the books and choose the newest ones to take home every night.  Of all the different dreams from Astronaut to Zookeeper, I have to confess, not one time did I ever hear anyone say, “I want to be a Doorkeeper!”  Now maybe, if I had lived in a New York City co-op, that would have been my dream but I can’t imagine wanting to stand and open doors for people all day long.

Having been raised in a Pentecostal Church, I was exposed to so many wonderful men and women of God who cheerfully contributed their gifts and talents to building the Kingdom.  They inspired some of the “when I grow up” dreams of my childhood. 

In the late 1960’s, I definitely wanted to be an evangelist’s wife.  They got to travel, wear clothes and shoes that were perfectly matched and sang while playing the accordion.  My little girlfriends and I would sit on the pew, tuck our skirts tightly under our legs to mimic the pencil skirts and open the hymnal, pretending it was an accordion as we worshiped.  My husband and I did travel around and preach for a year but, alas, my clothes were nowhere near perfectly matched, the travel was exhausting and accordions had been traded in for keyboards. 

I wanted to be a preacher so I could baptize the newly repented, the choir leader because they got to sing all the good parts, an usher walking up and down the aisles gathering money and a Sunday School Teacher that all the kids adored.  Although, I have taught Bible Studies and spoken to Ladies Groups, I have never been asked to baptize someone.

 I led choir once and found out the reason the leader was singing all the good part.  As a Sunday School Teacher, I took little kids to the bathroom, wiped noses, and at the same time planted a tiny seed of God’s Word in their heart.  Oh yes, it was very rewarding and there were lots of hugs along with a few kicks in the shin and screams for moms as the door closed.  I have also filled in as an usher but passing the offering plate as an adult just didn’t hold the same allure as in my childhood dreams.  So often, on my knees, I have asked God to use me in this or allow me to do that but today as I prayed a prayer of surrender, the words, “Please just let me be a doorkeeper in your Kingdom” burst forth.  A DOORKEEPER?  REALLY, A DOORKEEPER?

I began to meditate on being a Doorkeeper, what did it mean, what would I be doing?  Can you imagine living in a house without doors?  Your home would be soon overrun with insects, rodents, birds and even a larger animal or two.  Doors not only keep out undesirable critters but they protect us from human intruders who wish us harm or want to take what is yours.  They keep out the cold and snow in the summer and the wind and rain in the summer.  Doors are a necessary structure providing comfort and safety.  Doors also represent freedom, new opportunities or the ending of an opportunity.  We have all heard the expression, “When one door closes another one always opens.”  Now that I have opened your understanding to the importance of doors, what about the Doorkeeper and how can that be important to the Kingdom of God?

The Doorkeeper is the first defense when undesirables try to sneak in through a crack or the storms of life threaten to flood our lives.  The Doorkeeper makes sure the door is securely closed and locked by covering you in prayer, a timely scripture or encouraging word.  When it is time for the door to be open, the Doorkeeper is there holding the door, extending a helping hand and urging you to step out in faith.  When the door has once again been shut on an opportunity, the ever vigilant Doorkeeper is ready, with a sympathetic heart and a loving hug, assuring you that at the right time the door will once again open.

Yes, my prayer today is, Lord, now that I’m all grown up, just let me be a Doorkeeper in your Kingdom.  Help me be ready to offer a prayer and a smile, touch the hurting and encourage the hopeless.  Show me when to open the door and when it should stay shut.  Then I will say along with the Psalmist in Psalms 84:10, “For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.”

Labor Day weekend has become a very difficult holiday for me. One that I would like to delay and push back until it falls into oblivion and never arrives.  For several years, in my mind, Labor Day has signified “Endings.”  It is the end of summer, warm weather, vacations and fun.  It is a time when cottages are closed, t-shirts are traded in for sweaters, swimming pools are winterized and vacation euphoria fades to a memory.  Eleven years ago, another significant “Ending” invaded my Labor Day Weekend; life on earth ended for my Dad and life for me has never been the same.

As I meditated on the end of summer, the end of Dad’s life and other endings I have faced, the sweetness of a still small voice invaded my thoughts.  Speaking through the sadness to reach to the core of my heart, it said, “It really isn’t an ending, but a completion.”  Everything has a season and a mission to fulfill with only one goal; to reach completion.

Summer must happen; it is a time of growing and refreshing.  Everyone enjoys vacations and the fresh fruits and vegetables that come from sunny days and warm summer rains.  Once the harvest has been gathered in, the fields and plants have come to completion; it is time to rest.  Without completion there would be no need for a new beginning.  Without the end of summer, there would be no need for the beauty of the autumn leaves, crisp apples, pumpkins and Thanksgiving gatherings.  There would be no winter with crackling fires, snuggly sweaters and snow angels.  The freshness of spring, tulips, and tender green buds on the trees would be lost in an endless summer.

 As for my Dad, his season on earth had to end so he could move on to what God had always planned for him. The sadness still hovers and I miss my Dad but his mission was fulfilled, he finished the course and reached completion. 

Some endings are more difficult than others but God always has a new beginning just waiting for each season to reach completion.  Whether you have just crossed from a completion to a new beginning or you are struggling with a completion that has no new beginning in sight, God has a plan for this season that will ultimately culminate in a COMPLETION not an ENDING.

SO I TAUGHT YOU TO TRUST GOD

When you began to walk, I wanted to keep you from falling, I could not so I stood by ready to pick you up, bandage the scrapes and kiss away the tears.  When it was time for you to enter kindergarten, I wanted to protect your young ears and eyes from the influences of an evil world, I could not so I taught you to turn away from evil and toward the beauty of God.  When you joined your friends on the playground, I wanted to protect you from the bullies, the teasing and their hurtful words, I could not so I provided a loving home you could always run to and told you about a “friend that would never leave you or forsake you.”  As you approached adulthood, I wanted to keep you from failing, but I could not, so I taught you to get up and try again, that the mercies of God are new every morning and by never giving up you would achieve success.  As you began to win and life’s success came your way, I wanted to protect you from the pitfalls of pride, I could not so I taught you to be thankful and give all Glory to God.  Now you are a man and I would still like to protect you from the world, but I cannot so I stand by and watch with a prayerful heart as you prepare your children to deal with their own scrapes and bruises.

When I became a mom 37 years ago, I had no concept what an awesome responsibility I had been given.  I knew my babies needed to be fed, clothed and loved and that was where I started.   There were new toys, bicycles and video games, days at the beach, a trip to Disney World, and little league games, but all of the fun times and new toys couldn’t guide my children through the pitfalls life presented. As time continued on and my children grew and we faced new challenges, I realized that the most valuable legacy I could leave them was a solid foundation in God.  I knew I wouldn’t always be present every time there was a temptation, but God would always make a way of escape.  I couldn’t always be within shouting distance but God was just a prayer away.  There would come a day when I would have to let go and watch them fly and my desire was that God would be the “wind beneath their wings.”  As much as I love my children, they had to make their own decisions, sometimes fail and make mistakes and learn to pick themselves up to try again.  Since I could not do it for them, I taught them to trust in God.

I love you Steven and Philip, it is such a blessing and privilege to be your Mom.

HEY CHURCH, JESUS IS HERE!!!

Saturday was Caleb’s first T-ball game.  I think Grandpa was just excited as Caleb as we drove the 45 minute drive to Saginaw.  Game time arrived and Caleb in his brand new team t-shirt and ball cap, carrying his glove ran onto the field.  The coach put him at 3^rd base and we stood at the 3^rd base fence to cheer his every move.

  Suddenly, Caleb looked toward the fence, his excitement for the game vanished and his focus on the field was transferred to what was on the other side of the fence.  “Grandpa, Grandma,” he yelled, waving with a big grin on his face.  We waved back, but his excitement couldn’t be contained, “Coach, my Grandpa and Grandma are here.”  The coach smiled and helped him refocus on the game.  The inning was over and Caleb’s team went to the dugout for their turn at bat.  As exciting as a turn at bat can be, Caleb had a more important task that just had to be completed.  Suddenly, a little 5-year old boy came running out of the dugout, wrapped his arms around my legs and said, “Grandma, I missed you.”  How could I resist such a display of love? 

Standing in church on Sunday, I realized exactly what Caleb had felt when he spied two people in his life that he is confident love him unconditionally and showers him with blessings at every opportunity.  As we began to sing praises and the Presence of God filled the sanctuary, I wanted to yell, “Church, Jesus is here.”  The excitement at His Presence was too much, my joy overflowed, raising my arms out to Him, I began to talk to Him in a special “love language” that He always responds too.  You see, Jesus just can’t resist such a display of love.

The Bible records many that joined the crowd surrounding Jesus.  They came to hear Him speak; see the miracles and perhaps they even hoped they might be one of the people to receive a personal blessing.  Then, there were the individuals that could not contain their excitement.  Zacchaeus climbed a tree and blind Bartimaeus ignored those trying to hush his cries, crying out even louder because Jesus was passing by.  A woman pushed through the crowd to touch the hem of His garment and a group of friends cut a hole in a roof for a sick friend, all to touch Jesus with their needs.  Jesus touched many, healing them and supplying their needs but there was one lady that pushed past the ridicule just because she loved Him so much. 

Luke 7:37-38  “And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, ³⁸And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.”  

Of course, Jesus could not resist such a display of love.  He told those who ridicule her, “Wherefore I say unto thee, her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much.”

What beautiful things would we experience in our life, in the church, if we would become so excited over the Presence of God that we could not contain ourselves?  If our love for our Savior just began to overflow and before the singing or the preaching, someone would yell out, “Hey Church, Jesus is here?”  If we would run to Him with our arms outstretched for that special “God Hug,” and tell Him how we have missed him; I’m sure Jesus couldn’t resist such a display of love.  

Take a little time today to pour some precious ointment on His feet, let the tears flow, raise your hands toward Heaven and talk to Him in the language reserved for Him alone.  He will touch you because He just can’t resist such a display of love.

WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT THE CHURCH?

REPOST FROM JULY 2011, ORIGINALLY POSTED APRIL 2010

Originally posted in April, 2010, I felt led to post it again.  It is so easy to take our eyes off Jesus and become so discouraged that we fail to see the good in anything including the church.  It was at such a moment that the Holy Spirit convicted me and I began to think about what a blessing The Church has been throughout my life.

Recently, Steve was talking with a man who wanted to change his life.  He confessed that his attempt to change on his own wasn’t working; he could be good for a short time and then his desires would overwhelm his efforts.  Steve, of course, began to tell him that being filled with the Holy Spirit was his answer.  It is only through the Holy Spirit that we have the power to overcome our sinful nature.  As the conversation continued, the reasons for his resistance began to spill out; he had been failed by the Church.  It wasn’t really “The Church” but people who claimed to be members of “The Church.”  He had been betrayed by people who talked “Christianese” but didn’t carry it through to the action phase.  BEEN THERE!!!

I have yet to find an individual who has NOT been disappointed by a church member or a church member who has NOT disappointed someone.  I have been let down by pastors, SS teachers, Christian “friends,” choir members and the list goes on.  Sometimes as I sit quietly on a Sunday afternoon, I realize that I am the one who disappointed that member who needed encouragement, a friend or someone just to care.  Yes, The Church is full of imperfect people; people who get angry, act hateful, betray trust, are insensitive and even sin; people just like you and me.

If you talk to enough disgruntled people or read enough religious news you will begin to get the picture that The Church is just a “Club for Hypocrites.”  Is there anything good about The Church?  This is an excerpt from a devotional by Christopher J. Harris called The Church Has My Vote.  I’ve seen church members that take their faith serious and walk that out in their daily lives. I’ve seen Pastors have such an encounter with God that they live what they preach. I’ve seen choir members that were the same righteous people in public and in private. I’ve seen more preachers that were committed to their wives than I have seen the opposite. I’ve seen more Deacons support their Pastor’s than the opposite. I’ve seen church members that love people so much that they’ve given money, time, and their talents just to help someone that they’ve only met a few minutes ago. I’ve seen people cry together and laugh together. I’ve seen men connect with other men when otherwise there were walls of mistrust. I’ve seen women get restored when they’d decided they would never trust again……….That’s the other reason why I’m sold out to the church. It doesn’t belong to any one person. It is God’s!

I was introduced to the church at 10 months old and 53 years later, I still love The Church.  It was a place where I learned to love God’s Word.  Beginning with wonderful Sunday School teachers who lovingly taught me not just Bible stories but the awesome truths they contained.  I had pastors that cared about their congregations and sacrificed personal opportunities to follow the call of God and preach salvation to lovable and unlovable sinners.  It was surrounded by The Church that I gave my heart to God and received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit at 9 years old.  It was The Church that encouraged an awkward teenager to sing, teach and learn to play the piano, and then use her talents for God.  Church has always been a place of safety, where I could feel an arm around me as I poured my heart out to God.  There are so many good things about The Church but the best thing about The Church is that I have been accepted as a member.  Now it’s up to me.  My behavior and attitude will determine if seeking people can find something good about The Church.  Will they find welcoming arms or an exclusive club with a closed membership?  Will they find the truth of God’s Word or an ear-tickling, back-slapping homily that leaves them unchanged?  Will they find the power of the Holy Ghost or dead religion?  God, help me to be a part of what’s good about The Church.

FAVOR IS ABSOLUTELY FAIR!!!

REPOST FROM MAY 2011

A few years ago, the famous Pentecostal preacher, T.D. Jakes preached a message entitled, “Favor Ain’t Fair.”  It was one of the messages at which you find yourself yelling, “AMEN,” high-fiving someone and at times jumping up just to relieve the excitement.  To me it was also one of those messages that a day later found me saying, “Huhhh?”  “Favor ain’t fair?”  Are you saying, “God ain’t fair?”  For years, now, every time I hear someone use this quote, a red flag pops up in my brain and says, “Huhhh?”

I have been blessed to be the recipient of God’s favor in some things but not everything.  I know people that seem to live under the “favor spout” while others have never found the place where favor is poured out.  Soooo, maybe “Favor ain’t fair.”  Except something in me refuses to accept that statement.  If favor ain’t fair and its God’s favor, that would make God not fair.  I decided to find the answer once in for all and opened my Bible.  I found there were men and women who received the favor of God and many who did not.  I also discovered that every single person who received God’s favor had one thing in common; FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE.

Take Noah for example.  Genesis 6:8 tells us that Noah found grace (or favor) in the eyes of the Lord.  Why?  Was it a random choice?  Did God like his name or the family he was born into?  Genesis 6:9 explains why God’s favor rested on Noah and through him allowed life to continue on earth; “Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God.”  Hebrews 11:7 again repeats, “By FAITH, Noah…..became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.”  The Bible records that Noah was a Preacher of Righteousness and I believe that during the years of building and preaching, God gave everyone the opportunity to share in the favor He bestowed upon Noah.  Obviously, no one else obeyed God’s command, so was God’s favor unfair?

 Let’s move on to Abraham.  I ask the questions again, random choice or good family?  Abraham was born in a pagan land to a family who worshiped pagan gods, yet somehow out of all of his family, Abraham knew and believed in the one true God because when he heard God’s voice, he obeyed without hesitation.  Why was Abraham blessed along with all of his descendants?  Hebrews 11:8 answers the question, “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance.”  Because of Abraham’s FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE, Galatians promised, “In you all the nations shall be blessed.”  Because of the favor shown to Abraham, his descendants become “God’s Chosen People.”  We also have the opportunity to share in the promise according to Galatians 3:9, “So then those who are of faith are blessed with believing Abraham.”  Notice there is a condition, FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE.  Is God being unfair to those who are not of faith?

As a mom, I possess the power to bestow favor upon my children, as I choose and when I choose.   Because I love both of my children and would give my life for them, my favor is not handed out randomly or because I find one better looking.  My children are blessed because I love them but at times there is special favor given.  Let’s suppose I give both of them a specific task and only one obediently completes the task.  Would it be fair to show favor to the obedient and the disobedient child equally?  I can guarantee you the obedient child would answer emphatically, “NO.”  My favor would be given in a direct response to their obedience.  We are all favored with the blessing of salvation when we obey the plan God has set forth and become His children.  Is it fair for God to favor those who ignore His Word and through unbelief reject His salvation?

This opens up another question, “I have obeyed the salvation message, I try to follow after God every day, I pray and read His word, yet some receive favor for specific situations and I do not, what more must I do?  Perhaps there is nothing more you must do because it is not the will of God for your life or perhaps it is not yet God’s perfect timing.  Back to being a Mom and Grandma.  I have a 4-year old grandson, Caleb and a 2-year old grandson, Nathan.  I allow Caleb to cut out shapes with a pair of scissors but no matter how much Nathan kicks and screams, he does not get to use a pair of scissors.  Am I being unfair?  Is Caleb more highly favored than Nathan?  Someday, the time will be right and Nathan will get to cut shapes just like his brother.  If I have one son who loves peanut butter cups and another son who loves them but has a peanut allergy, it is not unfair to favor one with a peanut butter cup and the other with something else.  In my superior knowledge and wisdom, I understand that favoring the allergic son with a peanut butter cup would cause great harm; possibly death. 

Many times what seems to us to be unfair or God’s favor resting more highly on others is really the mercy of God preventing us from the very thing that could cause spiritual harm or death.  Paul said in Philippians 4:11, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” It was not because Paul had decided to just settle on less than God’s best or because God had decided to favor others, but Paul could say this because he had total confidence in his knowledge that “all things were working out for his good, that God had a plan for his life and whatever state he was in had to do with the plan of God being fulfilled.

I submit therefore that God’s favor is always FAIR. Maybe, not fair as we would measure it with our limited knowledge, but always fair according to the plan of God.  When we finally learn to submit our actions, thoughts, decisions and our entire life to God we will walk in FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE and rest in the knowledge that God’s favor is ABSOLUTELY FAIR.

BEYOND THE "WHAT IF"

Tragedy has a way of making us reflect on our lives and reassess our priorities.  I am reminded today, that not only is life fragile but it is made up of moments in time.  There are moments of pleasure, joy, laughter, sorrow, pain and intense grief.  At times the moments seem to last for eternity but then there is a new moment to take its place.

Reflecting on tragic moments, I am always struck by the exact timing required to make the moment happen and the question that follows, “What if?”  Several years ago, a young lady my boys knew from school, was home from college for the weekend.  Her sister had attended the Homecoming Dance and an after dance party.  Sometime after midnight the elder sister went to pick up the younger.  On the way home, a young man who had been drinking ran a red light and the girls were killed instantly.  WHAT IF the timing had been just one minute earlier or later?  WHAT IF they had lingered just a little longer at the party?  WHAT IF one driver had been driving a little faster or slower?  The “what if” could have made all the difference in “what was” but it didn’t so we are left with the question.

Six years ago, I received a call from my husband saying he had been involved in a fatal accident.  A motorcycle had sped up around a semi just as Steve was pulling out of a McDonalds.  The motorcyclist hit Steve’s truck broadside at a speed of about 80 miles per hour and was killed instantly.  WHAT IF?  We struggled with the “what ifs” for a long time.  WHAT IF he had not taken the exit and stopped at that McDonalds?  WHAT IF he had paused an extra couple of seconds and taken one more look?  WHAT IF the motorcyclist had been going the speed limit?  Is there peace beyond the “what ifs?”

Yes, life is made up of moments and full of “what ifs.”  It seems the “what ifs” are more difficult to get past then the actual event.  Until the “what ifs” are dealt with, it is impossible to move on to a new moment.  So how do we move past the “what ifs?”  First we must recognize the past cannot be changed but the future is still being written.  Give yourself a break; if it something that needs to be forgiven, give it to Jesus.  Receive His forgiveness, and then forgive yourself.  If it involves something that was beyond your control, accept your limitations and put your trust in the One who is strong in our weakness.  Last of all look to the future and allow God to take all the “WHAT IFS” and use them for your good.  In all the moments of life, He is still God and He wants to be God of the “WHAT IFS.”