REGARDING INIQUITY

PRAYER JOURNAL 1/13/2019

Psalms 66:18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear.

“But I’m saved…since I was 9 years old. I know the difference between right and wrong and I’m living right!  I’m doing all I know to do for you, so God, WHY?  Why do I feel this way?  Why can’t I seem to touch Heaven?  Why can’t I hear Your Voice?”

AND THEN I HEARD…

God said, “You are regarding iniquity in your heart!”

No, God, you’ve got the wrong person.  I know you have a lot of people on a 21 days of prayer and fasting regiment, so I’m thinking you confused the wrong prayer with the wrong heart with the wrong person.  That isn’t ME, God; I’m not sinning, why I’m down here, on my knees, seeking your direction.  WHAT IS INIQUITY ANYWAY?  How can I be guilty of regarding something in my heart when I don’t even know the definition of the word?

But I repented, just in case, and ask God to search my heart, reveal the “iniquity” that lodged there, to forgive me and renew my mind.  I was sincere and He is faithful…If felt a burden lift, freedom descend and before I left the prayer meeting, I was singing, “It Is Well With My Soul.”

BUT…

It continued to “haunt” me.  INIQUITY??? SERIOUSLY??? According to one definition, Iniquity refers to a “premeditated choice; to continue without repentance.”  But God, I wasn’t sinning; I was praying daily; reading your word; going to church; giving in the offering; shunning evil…and God continued the “Open Heart Surgery” throughout the night.

This morning I woke to the realization, “I HAVE regarded iniquity in my heart!”  I have CHOSEN and CONTINUED to allow anger to have its little place.  In fact I have given it a place of “honor” and built a fence of protection around the anger; not only “regarding” it but “guarding” it ferociously. 

It was “Holy Anger,” but it wasn’t.  I have a RIGHT to be angry; but I didn’t.  Yes, I still went through all the motions.  On the outside I was the obedient child sitting down but on the inside I was the rebellious little girl standing defiantly, with crossed arms…guarding my anger.

God will pursue you relentlessly.  He wants you to “GET IT RIGHT!”  He wants you to be the victor but you have to be willing to LET GO of your little “pet peeves” that will grow into iniquity if you continue to give them sanctuary status.

This morning, allow God to search your heart; to tear down any fences you have built around the perceived injustices, hurts and the anger you are experiencing.  Or perhaps it is something else that is taking up “SPACE” that God desires for Himself.  Whatever is preventing God from hearing you and you hearing Him back is NOT WORTH THE SATISFACTION you hope to experience.

The one cry God will always here is one of SINCERE REPENTANCE.  You can experience freedom today and sing, “It is well, It is well, with my soul.”

Have a blessed day worshiping the Lord.