MY OWN WORST ENEMY

Have you ever heard the expression, “She’s her own worst enemy?” It is usually used in the context of describing an individual’s self-destructive behavior. After examining my own life, I found too many instances where the phrase fit perfectly. I am embarrassed to confess that many times I am my own worst enemy. I provide God with every negative excuse I can think of when I don’t want to be obedient; then try to assist Him when I need a solution. Sadly, I am not alone in self-sabotage, many famous Biblically people, even the “Heroes of Faith” were often their own worst enemy. But Praise Be to God, His mercies are new every morning.

It began with Adam. God had provided everything Adam and Eve could possibly need or want. They only had one condition, one pitfall to avoid, but Adam couldn’t say no. Sin came into the world and was passed down to his son Cain. Cain was envious and couldn’t control his anger. He allowed anger to dominate him until he murdered his brother. By faith, Noah prepared an ark, but once the crisis was over enjoyed the fruit of his vineyard to excess and became drunk. It is said that Abraham staggered not at the promise of God. He did, however, think God was taking a little too long and tried to help God out by having a son with Hagar. Moses, the great liberator of the Israelites, offered every excuse he could come up with to convince God that he was not the man for the job.

David had been blessed by God from his youth. God had used him to destroy the tormentor of God’s people, anointed him King and given him unsurpassed musical talents. What more could David desire? Another man’s wife!!! David had a problem with lust. Solomon was the wisest man that ever lived. As a young king, he asked God for wisdom to lead the kingdom. God rewarded him with unimaginable wealth in addition to wisdom. Instead of trusting God for protection and deliverance from his enemies, Solomon made alliances with foreign kings, married their daughters and allowed them to continue worshiping their heathen gods. Solomon’s conclusion at the end of his life was, “All is vanity and vexation of the soul.”

Mankind’s self-destructive tendencies continue into the New Testament. Peter talked too much and had a braggadocios spirit. His inability to control his tongue brought him to the point where he would deny even knowing Jesus. Finally, Paul had an overwhelming pride in his upbringing and education. He had sat at the feet of top philosophers of his day. Paul was proud of his Pharisaical label and set out to eradicate the errant Christians.

Bringing sin into the world, murder, drunkenness, interfering in God’s plan, excuses, lust, idol worship, an untamed tongue, pride? I’m not guilty of any of those; or am I? How many times have I caused someone else to stumble because of my sin or allowed my tongue to run on, sometimes even murdering someone’s feelings with my words. I am an expert at interfering in God’s plan and offering excuses. There are days of dissatisfaction, lusting after all the things that are so far out of reach. I have been in danger of idol worship when my priorities get out of whack. Pride gets in the way when I fail to see those less fortunate through God’s eyes. Drunkenness, now there’s one downfall I haven’t experienced. Wait a minute, Susan; don’t let your pride blind you. Like Noah, I have been drunk on the fruit of my own success forgetting that ALL glory belongs to God and I am nothing without Him. Thankfully my story along with our biblical heroes doesn’t end with my failures because of God’s amazing grace.

Adam was left with a promise; Noah, Abraham, Moses and David have their place in the “Hall of Faith:” Solomon built a temple and wrote books chronicling his wisdom and experience; Peter was given the Keys to the Kingdom; Paul was the apostle to the gentiles and wrote most of the New Testament; even Cain was surrounded by God’s protection. I am so thankful that God has a special plan for my life. It has been waiting, before I was conceived, for me to fulfill. Just as nothing can keep me from the love of God, “my own worst enemy” is the only thing that can prevent my total dedication to God and His plan.

Ecclesiastes 5:3 says, For a dream comes through the multitude of business; and a fool’s voice is known by a multitude of words. It’s time to stop the excuses, realize that pride masquerades as a fear of failure, ask God for wisdom and get busy with the Father’s business.