BUT IT'S JUST A CUP OF WATER!!!

I know I’m not supposed to feel this way, I’m a Pastor’s Wife and pastor’s wives have it all together, right? We always have the perfect outfit, complete with shoes to fit any occasion, our homes are always clean with everything in place waiting for the unexpected visitor and our dinner parties always included perfectly cooked gourmet recipes presented on a perfectly appointed table, right? Furthermore, no matter what venue I enter, people are drawn to my side with most of them instantly converted as I eloquently teach them the Gospel, right? I always have a smile on my face, am instantly ready to play the piano, sing the perfect song to enhance the sermon, teach Sunday School or plan the perfect extra-curricular activity, right? If anyone from the church we pastor is still reading, please skip the rest of this paragraph. I’m not sure who this describes but it certainly isn’t this Pastor’s wife. Sometimes the smile is just a façade, I pray and labor over a precious soul, only to have them choose a bigger more exciting church, my voice cracks on the high notes, nothing in my closet fits and I usually burn the biscuits.


Is there a perfect pastor’s wife? For too long I have clung to an illusion, feeling so inadequate and overwhelmed. I wonder how and why God would ever choose me to play this part in His plan. According to books and conference sermons, everybody else starts a church with 3 in their homes and begins to look for a building to hold their 150 members the next month. The youth group evangelizes the neighborhood and baptizes 25 in a friend’s swimming pool. The choir comes together and sings songs written by the pastor’s wife to a 50 piece orchestra accompaniment. The prayer meetings are power packed, the children’s pageants are Broadway productions and people are lining up early before service, just to get a seat. Why do you love “them” so much more than me?

I experienced such a day of overwhelming inadequacy last week. The task ahead appears so daunting and everything I try, every idea I have never seems to accomplish what I envision. I hold out my hands to God and my offerings are so meager compared to the crusades, choirs and conferences others proudly present. Tears streamed down my face as I listed all the reasons why God had not chosen the right person. All my fears, inadequacies, attempts and failures poured out of me, mingled with the tears. Mark 9:41 reminds us, “For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.” “But God,” I wailed, “It’s just a cup of water! I wanted to bring so much more. It’s just a cup of water!”

The word of an old song streamed through my ranting and raving, "If just a cup of water I place within your hand, then just a cup of water is all that I demand.” I dried my tears and stood to my feet with new purpose. I am determined I will carry that cup of water with dignity and care. I will offer a drink from my little cup of water to those who are thirsty. Water from my cup will be used to wash the wounds of those who are hurting. A sip of water from the cup in my hands will bring comfort to those without hope. I will pour out the water from my cup to refresh those who have become discouraged along the journey. God, it’s just a cup of water but it is what has been placed in my hands and I want to empty it for You.