IF YOU HAD ONLY WAITED!!!

“Grandma, I want some juice.” “Just a minute, Caleb” “Grandma, I want some juice.” “I’ll be right there.” SPLASH, CRASH, TRICKLE, DRIP, drip, drip….. “Caleb, if you had only waited!” Does this scenario sound familiar? Caleb was having one of those days. Grandma was busy with Nathan, Caleb wanted juice and he wanted it now so he decided to take matters into his own hands with disastrous results. Now Caleb was unhappy, Grandma was frustrated and there was a big mess in the floor. If he had only waited, Caleb would have been enjoying a glass of juice and Grandma would have been relaxing with a cup of coffee in a clean kitchen. How many times has God looked down at the mess I have created and thought, “Susan, if you had only waited!” Most of the time my heart is in the right place, it is just that my mind becomes clouded by my desires and I think I can do it myself.

I have learned a lot about waiting in the recent weeks and months. At the beginning of the year, Steve and I began to seek God’s will for the ministry He has called us too. Doors began to open for us to speak on weekends and we met many wonderful people at several churches. Pastoral opportunities presented themselves, but as we would seek a confirmation from God, the door would close. There were times the waiting became difficult and we were tempted to work the situation out, but past experiences screamed NO and prevented another disaster. Finally, God opened the door to the opportunity he had created just for us. We walked through the door and have already begun to enjoy the blessings. We were asked to accept the pastorate, our house sold immediately, the perfect Tennessee house was available for rent, and life was rolling along on well-greased wheels. Suddenly, we hit a pothole and the waiting lesson began anew.

The owner of the “perfect” house called on Friday to tell us the deal on the house he was purchasing had fallen through so his house was no longer available for lease. How could that happen? Hadn’t God opened the door for the perfect house? Forgetting the blessings we had experienced through the waiting over the past month, I began to fret. Steve and I discussed our other two options during the long drive from Memphis to Morristown. Saturday evening, we again toured one of the choices. I had an unsettled feeling but convinced myself that it would be alright; I could live here. Maybe we could get a 6 month lease; surely I could stand it for 6 months. After a sleepless night, Sunday morning dawned. The unsettled feeling had not left and the thought came to me; “Susan, you know that unsettled feelings are not from God, you need to pay attention.” I made excuses; “I had no other options.” “It was a matter of pride.” “I was disappointed.” The feelings lasted as the church service began. Finally, in desperation, I raised my hands toward heaven and began to worship and praise God for His goodness. My mind cleared and I began to wait.

After church, on our way back to Saginaw, we stopped by the other house on our list for one last look. The living room looked bigger, the sun shone in brighter through the windows, the breeze blew across the deck a little softer and the peace of God flooded my soul. This was the house God had provided for us. Steve looked at me, I nodded and he said, “I think this is the one.” We signed a lease and headed for Saginaw, MI with a song in our heart. Isaiah 40:31 says, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” I am so thankful that there was no mess to clean up this time. What a comfort to know that God is faithful and He will clean up the messes but how much more glorious it is to experience the joy of waiting on the Lord.

DOES A TITLE DEFINE ME?

What is a title? According to Merriam/Webster, one of the definitions is a descriptive name. A title is a word used to describe your current station in life. Titles begin to evolve in your life from birth. Some are lifelong banners, while others are appropriate only for a short time. I began life with the titles daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, and cousin. As I grew so did my title list. Over the years, student, wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, mother, aunt and grandmother were added to my resume. The most precious title associated with my name is Redeemed, Spirit-Filled, Child of God. Do these titles define me? I certainly hope so; they are the story of my life.

Every title defines a small piece of the puzzle, when viewed as a whole portrays Susan. They identify all the relationships I have with people who are so precious in my life. I have known women who refused to take their husbands last name or be known as MRS. I love that title; it tells a beautiful story of love and commitment from two different people whom God made one. Mother and Grandmother are two other titles that I cherish. Those titles are a continuation of the love story that began when I became a wife. At 9 years old, I decided to follow Jesus, since then, I have happily embraced every title along the way as a blessing from God.

I was involved recently in a conversation regarding the title, “Pastor’s Wife” vs. “Co-Pastor” vs. “Lady Minister.” Each side had a valid point as to which was the desired title. When I came to the place of surrender where the title was not as important as serving God every day in any capacity, doors began to open miraculously and great things began to happen in my world. I have recently become a “Pastor’s Wife.” I love it! Why? Maybe, because I am married to the greatest, most humble, absolutely wonderful Pastor/Preacher in the universe. Maybe, because this Man of God rejoices in all the things God calls me to do and encourages me to seek God’s will for my life. Maybe because my husband pastors a church filled with precious People of God. Maybe, because, “Pastor’s Wife,” defines exactly the position in which God has placed me.

Does a title define me? Only if I allow myself to become everything the title describes. Choose the titles wisely that you allow to be associated with your life. If a title has been placed around your neck that you prefer was not there, refuse to live by its definition, soon it will fall by the wayside and be forgotten. Every day you may gain and lose various titles, make sure you add “Redeemed, Spirit-Filled Child of God” to your life, live up to its definition and never let it go.

SOMETIMES GOD SAYS NO, SO HE CAN SAY YES!

There is nothing more fulfilling than being involved in the work of God. It is so awesome to realize that you are a small piece of God’s master plan. Each morning I pray that God will open my eyes and help me to accomplish what He has planned for that day. This prayer has led to some strange and interesting situations at the grocery store, a nursing home, my office, the subdivision where I live and other places I frequent. It is so amazing while meditating on God’s goodness in the evening to suddenly realize that the events of the day were not strange or coincidental at all. They were orchestrated by God and I was a part of them!!!

About 7 years ago, Steve and I felt led to start a small group in our town. Although we are surrounded by many churches, there is no church that teaches the Acts 2:38 message in our immediate area. It began as a small group in our home where we met once a week to study the Word of God, share testimonies of God’s goodness and pray for each other’s needs. As the group expanded we began to look for a building and held our first services there about 5 years ago. For the next 4 years we continued to minister to people and reach out to the community. Although many people visited, our core group remained small. About a eighteen months ago, the core shrunk to 3 individuals and we felt God telling us, “NO.” Our last service was Easter Sunday, 2009. It took several months for me to go back into the building because I was not ready to let go. I was sure it was the will of God but still I grieved.

As the months continued, Steve and I prayed, wept and sought God for direction. During that time we learn to see opportunities one day at a time and allow God to use us for that specific situation. We felt a burden for small churches and traveled on weekends to minister in them. I was privileged to complete 3 different Bible Study series and to teach them in small group settings. God allowed me to speak at some ladies meetings and seminars. I volunteered at the Rescue Mission and worked with hospice. I was blessed every time I saw God work in a situation or we enjoyed a powerful service in one of the small churches, but still something was missing. I had a longing to be a pastor’s wife again!!! I wanted to walk beside precious people as they worked out the issues in their lives, cry with them as they let go of the pain and rejoice when the joy of the Lord filled their heart. I was not very good at “lovin’ and leavin’.

Some opportunities began to present themselves. Every time we were optimistic; could this be the place God wanted us to minister? As we prayed for direction, it seemed as if God had forgotten that YES was also a word. The door would always shut with a resounding NO. There was one opportunity we were so sure would be perfect. Everything seemed to be falling into place except for one important detail. This had to be God’s plan for our lives, but to be sure we put a “fleece” before the Lord. We soon realized that although the fleece was wet the ground was very dry. We continued to pray about this one, because it was so “perfect” for our lives. One more “fleece” went before the Lord. This time, you guessed it, the ground was wet but the fleece was dry. God had not only answered our “fleece” but had taken the desire for this opportunity out of our hearts. So we continued to seek God’s will.

When we come to the end of our own imagination, God shows us His. God slapped us upside the head with an open door that we never saw coming, could not have imagined or even dreamed up. On August 22, 2010 we had our first service as pastor of Cornerstone Apostolic Church, Morristown, TN. Even as I write this, I am overwhelmed by the goodness of my God, tears fill my eyes and I may have to take a little praise break right here. God reached way up north in Saginaw, MI, touched a seeking pastor and his wife, filled our hearts with love for a beautiful congregation way down south in Morristown, TN. He has not only given us the desire of our heart but is allowing it to be fulfilled in one of the most beautiful areas in America.
All of the months of uncertainty allowed us to deepen our relationship with Jesus Christ as we let go of our plans and sought His purpose. The miles of traveling to small congregations on weekends gave us a new perspective on God’s love for His people. Struggling in “Home Missions” for five years with little “success” in man’s eyes, taught us that, “there are no throwaway’s,” every soul is precious and you may be in that individual’s life for just a moment in time along their spiritual journey. All of the closed doors and God’s answers of “NO,” fine tuned our hearing so that when God said “YES,” the answer was unmistakable.

God has confirmed His “Yes” to us over the last month in unbelievable ways. I am so thankful for all the times God said no so He could say YES!!! This experience has taught me that accepting, with grace, the times that God says no makes the time He says yes so much sweeter.

CHECK YOUR WINDOW SILLS

The windows were shining, the furniture dusted and the carpet vacuumed. Ahhh, the feeling of accomplishment was sweet; time to let the fresh breezes blow out the lingering staleness created by the hot, humid days of summer; time to settle back with a well-deserved cup of coffee and admire the results of my fruitful morning. Tying back the curtains and raising the window, I suddenly recoiled in horror!!! My feeling of satisfaction and my beautiful room was suddenly marred by filthy window sills. The sills were grimy with dirt, dead bugs were strategically lining the wells and cobwebs filled the corners. Where had all the filth come from and how had I allowed it to accumulate to that extent? Paper towels and window cleaner work wonders and a half hour later I was sitting back enjoying my cup of coffee, secure in the knowledge that my rooms were spotless.

Pondering the situation, I realized how thankful I am for windows. The sills reflected what a great job the window had done in trapping the dirt and bugs before they took up residence in my house. God created our bodies with some pre-emptive devices to protect important sensitive areas from ingesting the filth and germs that swirl around us every day. If you are the mother of daughters or are extra sensitive, you may want to stop reading now or write your own ending to the story. I am the mother of two boys and believe me when you raise boys; all sensitivity quickly flies out the window. With boys, bodily fluids and noises were not subjects to sweep under the rug or discreetly discuss in hushed tones. OH NO!!! They were loudly proclaimed, a subject of masculine rivalry and at times actually celebrated. Now that you understand how my mind works, blow your nose, clean out your ears and wash the sleep out of your eyes. These are all systems that must be cleaned from time to time; systems that protect the body from ingesting foreign objects that would harm delicate tissue. If you never blew your nose, you would finally be unable to breath. Ears can become so plugged, that it seems you are hearing everything from inside a barrel and of course who would want their eyes glued shut with the goop that accumulates every night while you sleep? We make sure to take care of our bodily hygiene every day but what about our spiritual hygiene?

We have repented and turned toward Christ, our sins have been washed away through baptism and He has filled our emptied soul with the Holy Ghost. The inside is all clean!!! We live by the motto, WWJD. Our homes have been set up as a testimony, there are certain places and situations we shun, and we are careful to let our speech glorify God. The outside is all clean!!!! Before we settle back and rest in what God has accomplished in our life, CHECK THE WINDOW SILL. What is lurking in the corners, down in the wells and under the layer of dust we have allowed to accumulate. We still live in a world that doesn’t follow WWJD. We are bombarded with filthy words, images and evil imaginations every day. Although we may guard our heart and refuse to embrace the world’s view of life, we have to daily cleanse the accumulation from our mind. The Apostle Paul says it in such an eloquent fashion in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Spending a little time with the Lord, listening to Godly music, reading a passage of scripture, and just allowing His love to gently wipe away all the outside crud will keep all the pre-emptive devices in good working order. If you haven’t checked the window sills of your heart in a while, take a few minutes, you’ll be reaching for the paper towels and Windex, with lightening speed.

SEARCHING FOR LOST SIGNAL

My life is now run by satellite. Forty years ago, we were amazed at the futuristic technology portrayed on Star Trek and James Bond. The actors were able to go places and accomplish things found only in the daydreams of adventurous screenwriters. Today, although, we still cannot be teleported to other universes, most of the gadgets have become reality. I have a cell phone, satellite television, a GPS system in my automobile and even an alarm clock that resets itself by satellite. They are all wonderful inventions until something interrupts the signal.

Steve and I were in the middle of a Law & Order episode one night when the storm clouds rolled in and the most aggravating message scrolled across the screen; “Searching for signal.” Nothing was wrong with the television, the station was still broadcasting the episode, but we could do nothing to remedy the situation because the receiver could not find the signal. The same thing happens to my cell phone as I cross the Mackinac Bridge into the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Suddenly an inverted V appears with an attached rotating cone, frantically searching for the nearest cell tower. I am no longer connected to the world because the signal has been lost.

So many times traveling the “road of life,” I find myself disconnected and searching for the signal. Nothing is wrong with God. The signal is still being broadcasted to the world. Others are happily connected, but something is preventing me from receiving what God is transmitting. It may be a storm cloud or the mountains bordering the valley through which I’m traveling. At other times, I may have drifted to far from the “tower,” all I know is that my heart keeps rotating, searching frantically for the signal. As I continue on the path, like my car’s GPS system, I pick up a sudden voice that says, “Make a U-turn now!” If I obey that familiar voice, I find myself safely on the right road with the signal coming through clear and strong.

If you find your heart searching for the signal, remember it’s not lost. There is something merely blocking the reception. Deuteronomy 4:29 promises, “But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Look up, raise your antennae toward Heaven, begin to praise God and soon the signal will be restored.

BIG HAIR & WHISPERED PRAYER

Have you ever gone shopping with someone and become separated? You are standing right beside them, looking at the same merchandise, when suddenly, they disappear. In a big department store, you could lose someone for days. You go down one aisle as they are going up another aisle or you happen to be rounding the end of an aisle at the exact time they pass the aisle in which you were just standing. It really could go on forever. What do you do? If you are lost, whether in a department store or a forest, the best course of action is JUST STAND STILL!!!

As a little girl, it was always an exciting adventure to go “to town” with Mom. Shopping was a much more focused decision. There was no wandering down wide, air-conditioned corridors, stopping in a store you wouldn’t ordinarily frequent to check out the clearance rack, grabbing a bite to eat in the food court before moving on to the store you really came to shop at in the first place. “Town” consisted of stand-alone stores and strip malls and going to “town” usually referred to Sears or JC Penney’s. I still remember the smell of freshly popped corn as we entered Sears. A strategically placed counter filled with chocolate delights, candy corn and circus peanuts beckoned to shoppers as they entered the store and tempted them as they exited. Sometimes we would get a 1/4 pound of our favorite candy for the ride back home.

Sears was full of distractions for a curious little girl. There were racks of colorful clothing, mannequins to hide behind and make faces at, and ladies with blue hair stopping to admire a mother brave enough to go shopping with such a large brood. In the midst of all the distractions, I would suddenly realize that Mom had moved on without me. I’m sure she was just behind a rack of clothing or down a different aisle, but it can be very stressful to a child when there are no familiar faces in view. The first few times a panicked cry of “MOM” rang out through the department until she suddenly appeared assuring us she had never been very far away. As we grew older and realized she would never leave us alone, the panic faded and we drifted a little further into departments that were much more interesting. After a short while, the insecurity would set in and we would begin to look for Mom.

Over the years I learned a little trick that worked every time. It was the 1960’s and my mother had BIG HAIR. If I only looked up over my circumstance, I could find her moving in the distance among the racks. I would walk toward the “moving hair” and soon be in her presence. There were times, however, that the merchandise was piled too high. No matter how high I looked, I could not spot the hair. I would get very quiet and listen intently. My mother took the verse that says, “Pray without ceasing,” literally. She had a whispered prayer on her lips as she cleaned the house, cooked the meals and yes, even as she shopped. When all my searching techniques failed, I would listen for that familiar whisper, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” As I moved toward the still, small voice, I felt a calming peace; Mom was just around the corner. Looking back, it has become just a fond memory. If I get separated in the mall from loved ones today, I call their cell phone and ask them where they are and where we can meet. The need for big hair and whispered prayer has become obsolete.

There have been times I have allowed the distractions of life to overwhelm me. I look around for God and realize He isn’t beside me anymore. I’ve drifted away and I’m lost among the racks of responsibilities and troubles. If I can only look up; above my circumstance, often times I spot Jesus moving in the distance. Keeping my eyes on Him, once again I draw near and soon I am in His loving presence. But what about the times when I can barely lift my head, let alone see over the problems that have surrounded me? That is when I go to PLAN B; stand still and listen. I get away from the clutter and noise, close my eyes and let that still, small voice begin to speak. As I draw near to God the voice becomes a little louder and clearer until once again, He is holding my hand and directing my path.

If you have become a bit distracted and life is too confusing, give my solution a try. First, lift your head and LOOK UP. If you still can’t catch a glimpse of the Savior, LISTEN. His voice is never stilled; we just have a difficult time getting through the interference to the right frequency. He hasn’t moved He is right where you left Him. God has been patiently waiting to speak peace to your heart.

I THINK I AM A VALLEY GIRL

Do you know or are you one of the people who can’t wait for the next thrill? For the most part you feel that life is boring and you would be happier if you could live in Disney World and ride the roller coaster every day. I DO NOT understand you!!! I am happier with the mundane and would prefer to live in the rut; I think I am a “Valley Girl.”

Our Walk with God has been expressed many times as either a “Mountaintop” or “Valley” experience. The “Mountaintop” describes exhilarating times, conquering, the end of the battle, and victorious celebration. The “Valley,” on the other hand speaks of constant searching, struggling, or stumbling through the darkness and discouragement. I think the Valley gets a bad rap and as a Valley Girl, I have a different point of view.

While a mountain may offer excitement and be exhilarating, living on a mountain is hard. Mountain climbers describe the treacherous perils awaiting those who dwell on the peaks. There are stories of hikers finding a quiet, flat site to set up camp for the night only to have a storm blow in unexpectedly, upsetting the camp. The climber must always be aware of missteps into a crevice or loose boulders that appear solid only to break off with the slightest weight and go tumbling into the canyon below. The thunder of an avalanche strikes terror into the hearts of even the most experienced explorers who understand that trying to escape the tidal wave of snow racing down the mountainside is futile. Once the adventurers have reached the peak, there is a feeling of incredible achievement and the view is breathtaking, but trying living on the mountaintop. There is nothing to be found that will sustain life. There are no places to build a house, no rich soil to grow a garden, or beautiful streams from which to draw life giving water. It can be cold and lonely on the mountain. What do you do when all the provisions you toted on your back have been depleted? There is no local grocer or Wal-Mart on the top of the mountain. Suddenly, the valley begins to sound a little more inviting.

It is in the valley we find peace, rest, safety and provision. The valley provides a quiet place where we can take the time to feel God’s love surrounding us and earnestly seek His guidance. Our bodies have been created to endure hardship, expend incredible amounts of energy and achieve amazing feats of strength but even the strongest and most energetic person will eventually hit the wall because we are also created to require rest. It is in the valley that we can take the time to be revived, refreshed, and reinvigorated. It is true, sometimes life in the valley becomes boring or as I prefer to call it, peaceful. For all you “thrill-seekers,” be assured, Life is never static, the valley will come to an end and soon you will have another mountain to climb.

All of you Mountain Climbers please be patient with us Valley Girls as we journey through life together. I will climb up the mountain side with you and rejoice when we reach the peak. I promise to be a shoulder to lean on as we descend on the other side. I only ask that you allow me just a little extra time to linger in the valley. Let me drink from clear stream of refreshing water, eat the fruit from the Tree of Life and smell the sweet aroma of the Lily of the Valley. As a Valley Girl, I need a few extra moments to prepare for the next adventure. We will reach the mountain soon but for now there are green pastures and still waters awaiting this Valley Girl.