I WANT TO BE FREE, BUT WHAT IF....

It was Sunday morning, time for service to begin.  The Worship Team was in its place and the leader had just stepped to the pulpit, when suddenly a woman, whom nobody knew, walked down the center aisle and fell on her knees at the altar.  For just a moment, I sat in stunned silence; what should I do?  WHAT SHOULD I DO????  Sadly, I realize this type of thing doesn’t happen enough in our churches for me to shift into automatic. The Worship Leader knelt beside her and I came out of my daze enough to make my way up the aisle to slip an arm around her and begin to pray as another dear sister joined us.  The church reached a hand toward her and prayed as she wept from the depths of her need. 

She was addicted to Meth and was so ashamed; she wanted to be free.  At 35 years old, her face was marked by the ravages of her addictions.  There were scars and open sores where she would sit through the night, high on speed, picking and scratching her face.  She kept her eyes hidden behind large sunglasses, protecting her eyes from revealing the evident pain portrayed there.  She apologized for her appearance because her addiction had destroyed her teeth and she hadn’t taken the time to put her false teeth in; she wanted to be free!  She didn’t want her husband and children to find out about her addiction, she was so ashamed; what if they took her kids away; she wanted to be free.

It seemed that she had awaked at 3:00 a.m. Sunday morning and looked up our church address so she could come and pray.  Her family didn’t even know she was there but Jesus was calling her name.  We prayed, we pleaded the Blood; we rebuked the powers of darkness, in the Name of Jesus.  At times the smell was so strong, I had to back away; sin is so ugly and she wanted to be free.  After talking and praying with her, I told her I felt God wanted her to come back up to the sanctuary, sit with me and let the Word of God do a work in her heart. The Holy Spirit desired to completely deliver her.  Today was her day; she could be free!!!

The tears roll down my face, I want this story to have a victorious ending but a war is raging inside this dear lady.  She wants to be free but she cannot see past today enough to trust God for tomorrow.  I took her name and address, gave her a hug and promised to pray for her as she walked out the door.  God called her name; she wanted to be free but what if?

Every one of us has a battle raging inside of us.  God calls our name and Satan presents us with all the “What Ifs.”  What if I fail again?  What if my friends, husband, children find out?  What if my trust is betrayed again?  What if they laugh at me or lie about me?  What if I’m all alone? And Jesus answers, “What if you would trust me?”  What if today you were delivered?  What if I filled you with joy?  What if you never had to be alone because I walked beside you and my Spirit lived inside you?  What if you answered my call; What if?