I would like to be able to tell you that I woke up one morning and the weight had magically melted off during the night. A recent study has found that you lose more weight if you get more sleep, unfortunately, I’m an early riser. I saw an ad in a magazine that said if I took a little pill, the fat would disappear and I would not even have to change my poor eating habits. I was assured this had to be true because they couldn’t print it in a magazine or say it on television if it were not; tempting, but not for me. I didn’t spend $3 a meal on packaged food or purchase any torturous gadgets guaranteed to help you lose flab and inches. While all of the aforementioned methods are tempting, my secret is much more mundane; I have been disciplined and consistent for 7 months.
I have struggled with flab and yoyo weight loss my entire life. I cannot recall a time when it was not a constant “thorn” in my side. Even at the age of 5, I remember smiling people remarking to my mom about my “chubbiness.” I went for a school physical at the age of 6, only to hear the doctor talk about I was getting too fat. To this day I would rather suffer extreme pain than to hear the scorn in the physician’s voice as he tells me all my problems could be solved by losing a few pounds. In grade school all students were put through the mental torture of getting on the scale twice every year. I would pray that the rapture would take place as the line moved swiftly along and the school nurse announced each student’s weight. Obviously, God didn’t answer this fervent prayer. I went on my first diet in 6th grade by limiting myself to 1000 calories per day. It lasted until I lost about 15 pounds; the calories increased and so did my weight. The dieting continued off and on in 7th, 9th and 12th grade. During the 32 years I have been married, I have lost major amounts of weight 5 times. They have all lasted around 2 years and the weight would begin to creep back up until I would reach a top limit and start the process over.
In October, 2007, I turned 50 years old. I hated being fat and fifty. I wanted to exchange the “A” for an “I” and wake up fit and fifty. However, that was not enough motivation. I dreaded going to bed every night because I couldn’t rest due to the loud wheezing as I tried to breathe. I was sick to my stomach regardless of what I ate and popped purple pills followed by an alka seltzer chaser daily. That was not enough to spur me to change my lifestyle. The acid reflux irritated my esophagus so much that my throat was dry and scratchy, my voice was hoarse and I coughed constantly. Although I coughed at embarrassing moments and could no longer sing a complete solo or lead worship, I continued to find comfort in food.
What happened January 3, 2008 that was different than the other 50 New Years Days I have lived through? It took more than wanting to feel or look good, it took a complete surrender to the Will of God. I was filled with the Holy Ghost at the age of 9. I always had a desire to live for God but on my terms with me controlling the situation. When Steve felt a call into the ministry, I was resentful because it did not fit into MY plan. I played the dutiful minister’s wife, followed him to Dekalb, IL, Saginaw, MI, St. James, MN and back to Saginaw, MI. I lived in big houses and small apartments, pinched pennies and enjoyed years of plenty, taught Sunday School, organized church events and learned to play the piano. On the inside, all my activities were performed under protest. Then it happened, a couple of years ago, God placed a special call on my life. Maybe it was there all along buried under my own willfulness and I just refused to listen.
God worked on my attitude, my desires started to change and I began to have a burden and a love for lost, hurting people. The change didn’t happen all at once, it has been a process that is still not complete. Late last year, I began to plead with God to do a work through me to reach the lost. God spoke to my heart about two necessary changes; I needed to begin to write and I needed to discipline my body. The writing was easy because I have never lacked for something to say and blogging gave me the necessary platform. Bringing my body under subjection has been a different kind of battle. It really is a spiritual battle. Food appeals to every emotion I possess. It is a form of celebration and comfort, appeals to my eye and taste buds and feeding people is even my “love language.” The battle involves saying NO, avoiding certain places and situations and having a strategy to combat the never ending temptations. I haven’t won the war yet but I am winning one battle at a time.
After 7 months, the weight has come off. I no longer wheeze at night, my pills have changed to a daily vitamin and I have put almost 300 miles on a pair of tennis shoes. I feel strong, energetic and much more confident. God is still smoothing a few rough edges but I am ready to walk through every door He opens. In October, I will be 51 and FIT because I finally let go of my will and surrendered to His.
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