YOU ARE THE REASON

On this Christmas morning, don’t forget, YOU are the reason Jesus was born.  HE came to redeem YOU. He died for YOU.  HE LOVES YOU!!!

We all search for significance; to matter, if even to just one; to be loved as “ME.”  Over the years, I have been involved with many groups, religious and secular and in most of them, I was just “part of the group,” working toward the common goal.  But I longed for more.  I wanted to be valued, not just for what I contributed to the group or not just as long as I was useful to reaching the goal and certainly not because I could be counted in the total number, but I needed to be loved, personally.  These experiences lead us to believe this is how God views us; we are just “One in a World.”  God has a plan; there is an end game and He values you as just one of the players.  One day, when you die, you can go to Heaven but until then, God really isn’t concerned or involved with your personal life.  Oh, but He is and He does. HE LOVES EACH ONE PERSONALLY AND INDIVIDUALLY.

Listening to the sounds of laughter and watching my grandchildren play with their new Christmas toys, I thought of how special each little person is to my heart.  Oh yes, I speak of them as the “grandbabies and every year, I host “Grandkid’s Camp,” but they are so much more than a small subset in a large group.  Each one possesses a unique talent and personality that I adore and respond to individually.  Mackenzie is so smart and has such a sweet personality that loves animals and people.  Madison is a little “fashionista” who loves to create and perform.  She is always ready with a song or a dance.  Nothing stops Caleb.  From the time he started walking at 8 months until today, at 5 years, he has not stopped exploring, learning and discovering “why.”  Nathan, my sweet, lovable little Nathan; he is so tender and caring toward the younger babies.  I love the way he dances as soon as he hears music and his little voice naming his favorite superheroes.  Next is my beautiful, blond, blue-eyed Anabel.  Her laugh is infectious and just about the time she overwhelms you with the drama, her arms go around your neck and she climbs on your lap for some snuggle-time.  My precious, Maicie, who will be two in a few weeks; I love watching her blond curls bounce as she runs to keep up with her brothers.  Her giggles and version of “gama” when she runs into my arms is enough to make my world stop turning for a few minutes.  2 1/2 month old Payton, who completes our family; his toothless smile, his coos and gurgles as we “talk” have completely stolen my heart.  Each one is uniquely valuable to me by themselves.  I love them Personally and Individually.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

The verse rolls glibly off my tongue and I feel so blessed to be part of that world.  The love of God amazes me.  How could He love a world that 99% of the time dismisses Him and follows the path of its own choosing?  At times it almost seems an ethereal concept; this world that God loves.  I reach out to touch just a small piece of this world and though I’m a part, I can’t seem to wrap my mind around a whole world.  I substitute “Susan” for the “Whole World” and it becomes much more clear; God loves me, personally; HE LOVES ME!

For God so loved SUSAN that He gave His only begotten Son, that IF SUSAN believes in Him, she should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I NEED TO FEEL

A typical Friday in December, a little warmer than usual, but pulling on a jacket I headed out to get in some early morning, last minute Christmas shopping.  The clerks were slow and untrained.  My irritation level rose as, grumbling to my fellow shopper, I waited in line behind a woman who’s entire Christmas layaway had been lost.  Finally, on the road to the next destination, only to sit through 2 traffic lights as crazy people collecting for charity wove their way through the gathering holiday traffic.  I passed the mall and for just a moment considered…but no, I didn’t have the patience and a tiny atom of apprehension urged me to drive on by.  Finally home, I decided a workout would ease the stress and burning a few calories during the holidays is always a good decision.  It was a typical Friday morning except that once again a small piece of our world was being transformed by evil.

The reports began to cross the newswires.  Like most I was horrified; glued to the television, I waited for the endless updates, misinformation, corrections, interviews, press conferences and pictures.  Suddenly, I reached “Emotional Overload.”  My mind could handle no more.  Switching off the television, I sat weeping; horrified, in pain and sad, very sad.  It didn’t make sense…the innocent babies, a dedicated principal, school teacher, counselor…why?

Wherever you looked, whatever media source was tuned in, television, radio, face book…the shooting in Newtown, CT had consumed our lives.  We asked questions; we searched for answers; WHY?  Perhaps we could blame violent video games, mental illness, bad parenting, guns, taking prayer out of schools, removing God from a political platform, booing God at a political convention, or our President declaring the United States to no longer be a Christian Nation.   Many turned to prayer; others asked, “Where was God?” and “How could a loving God allow such evil?”  O’Reilly stated it was “Pure evil” but in Geraldo’s opinion, “Evil couldn’t begin to explain this action.”  We searched for answers to our WHY, but there were none.

Saturday morning; I could not turn on the television and instead filled the room with soft Praise & Worship music.  I didn’t want to feel anymore.  I didn’t want to weep; I wanted the horror, the pain; the sadness to disappear.  Where was the Christmas joy, laughter, excitement?  I wanted “Peace on Earth, Good will to Men.”  Then I suddenly realized, I NEED TO FEEL!!!

 I NEED TO FEEL the horror that such evil lurks in the darkest places of tortured minds.  I NEED TO FEEL the pain of loss that so many families are experiencing during this season.  I NEED TO FEEL the sadness of living in a world that has carelessly tossed God’s love aside to satisfy their own pursuits.  You see the real danger is in becoming numb, no longer caring, unable to feel the horror, the pain; the sadness of a lost and dying world.

Although at times I may be overwhelmed, let me feel horror at the destruction sin leaves behind; allow the pain that drives me to my knees as I view a world of hopeless, searching people.  As the tears fill my eyes and the sadness envelops me, “break my heart for what breaks yours.”  I NEED TO FEEL!!!

ONE YEAR LATER

Has a year already passed?  A year in a new chapter of the  “Exciting Life of Steve and Susan.”  A year that began with us clinging to the only thing we knew with certainty; GOD IS FAITHFUL and has ended with the certainty; GOD IS FAITHFUL!  A year that began confused, wounded and bleeding and ended peacefully, with a few scars, but healed.  Yes, it has been a year filled with surprises; new friends in a new church, a new house in a new city, a new job, new experiences, a new grandson and through it all GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL.

When we left Michigan to pastor a small church in Tennessee, we arrived full of hopes and dreams, so privileged that God would allow us a small role in His grand plan.  Our dream house sold and although our business and precious family were still in Michigan, our joyful hearts found a new home in Tennessee.  I fell in love with the mountains, the slower way of life, the southern accents and the warm feeling I had every time the clerk said, “Appreciate you” instead of the usual “thank you.”   It was a wonderful dream that slowly faded and we awoke one day with nothing but shattered pieces. 

Like the story of “Humpty Dumpty,” we couldn’t put it all back together again.  Our dreams had ended, the joy had turned into depression, and our confidence had given way to confusion.  With no church, no home, no future plans, shattered dreams and barely clinging to a few shreds of hope and the knowledge that GOD IS FAITHFUL, we fell on our faces and gave it all back to God.  Slowly, the Light began to flicker and once again burst into flame.

God, the “Repairer of the Breach”,” Restorer of the Dream” and the “Mender of Broken Hearts” still had a plan for us.  The disillusionment, wounds, disappointments and tears all became part of the process.  We left all the pieces at His feet and quietly waited. One week before our world caved in, God had orchestrated a “chance” meeting with two wonderful people who pastored a church that would love us, soothe our hurts and allow us to continue working in the Kingdom.  Next, we found a beautiful, new home that had been on the market for one year, reduced in price, just waiting for the Niswongers and God’s perfect timing.  A door opened for Steve to take a position with a company that will not only provide for our family but enhances the business Steve started years ago that will bless our children.  Finally, in October, we welcomed a precious new grandson, Payton into our family; my joy is complete and GOD IS FAITHFUL.

Satan always tries to destroy the things of God, the hope, joy, dreams and the plan, but he cannot unless you give all of them to him.  You see the whole package is a gift from God to you and only you can choose who controls it.  Allow God to develop the dream in your life, even if all that is left is shattered pieces.   He will unfold the plan and restore your joy in ways you could have never conceived.